Missy’s Marriage Bed

I spent the night on the couch the night before I read this. 

Couldn’t resist sharing the laughter.  Haven’t laughed till I cried like that in awhile.

In my personal fairytale turned nightmare I tiptoed quietly into our room (in the pitch dark)  about 10 minutes after my dragon slayer had gone to bed, quietly flipped the cap on my water bottle and took two swallows.  He violently pulled his pillow over his head and mumbled, “Can you settle down, already?”

Alrighty, then.  I crawled oh-so-carefully into bed and laid there trying not to move a single digit, praying quietly for a  few minutes when all of a sudden the entire bed heaves, he literally LEAPS out of bed, hits the floor, SNAPS on the light and stomps heavily over to the closet.  I lay there with a a facial expression that looked like I had about 4 too many plastic surgeries, that’s how high my eyebrows must have arched.  I mean, REALLY???

After fumbling around in the closet for a different pillow (don’t ask), he came back to bed, and I commented on the irony of it… all things considered.  He got that.  And he did apologize, but…. REALLY??  LOL!

Needless to say, when I heard the pitter patter of little feet coming into the room about 10 minutes later I sighed and resigned myself to the fact that if either one of us were to get any sleep, ONE of us was going to have to find the couch. 

And in some twisted way, after fourteen years of marriage it is very romantic to hear your husband’s feet coming down the stairs in the morning, to sense him crossing the room, and bending over  you to kiss you good morning, albeit with breath that really could slay a dragon.

Oh yes,  our beautiful Italian cotton  sheets also boast stains and ball point pen scrawlings and yesterday my lovely pillow with the crocheted Italian lace was used as a punching bag, bullet proof vest and trampoline on the living room floor for the course of the morning.

It’s really nice to know that you’re not the only one living a fairytale that sometimes has more of the qualities of a  nightmare.  And knowing that you are not the only one who has pistol shots going off in your bedroom in the middle of the night….

Ah…. laughter is good medicine.