The Peasant Princess Project, Part VIII

“I opened the door for my lover, but my lover had left and was gone… I looked for him but could not find him, I called for him but he did not answer.” S of S 5:6 photo by plusverde

Stepping Stone #32 Don’t Drive Him Away.  If I don’t welcome him into this home, my heart, my day planner, our bedroom  with open arms and a soft heart, he will inevitably go looking for another soft place to fall where he can be rejuvenated.  Not that personal pursuits are not important and good, when they are in a position of healthy balance around a beautiful relationship and healthy family dynamic but when they are to fill a void, to escape, or out of desperation… the scales are tipped and the marriage will suffer.

My Lover has gone down to his garden, to the beds of spices, to feed in the gardens and to gather lilies.  I belong to my lover, and my lover belongs to me.  He feeds among the lilies.  Song  of Solomon  6:2-3photo by coscurro 

Stepping Stone #33 Chase Him Down.  Note to self, this is humbling.   She was his, but she held back, he was hers but she pushed him away, and now he has gone searching for beauty and peace elsewhere.  She was once his Lily and his oasis, now he gathers lilies elsewhere.   Does she sit sulking and justifying?  Bemoaning what they don’t have and wishing things were different?  No.  She runs after him. 

Turn your eyes from me because they excite me too much.  Song of Solomon  6:5 photo by trublueboy 

Stepping Stone #34 Make Eye Contact.  Note to self; I know it well.  It’s the key to melting conflict. I can not look him in the eyes and stay mad.   I’ve said it myself. “I don’t *want* to look at you.  I’m mad.  I want to stay mad.  I have the right to be mad.  Don’t touch me.  Don’t try to butter me up and smooth this over.  You wronged me.  I know if I let you kiss me and touch me and smooth my hair and hold my face and look me in the eyes I will melt and right now I want to be hard as flint. 

“I went down into the orchard to see the blossoms of the valley, to look for buds on the vines, to see if the pomegranite trees had bloomed.  Before I realized it, my desire for you…” Song of Solomon  6:11-12 photo by npiggy2

Stepping Stone #35 Forgive. Note to self; He went somewhere else, blew off some steam, thought about it and realized that this was not God’s design for their marriage.  Whatever his wife had done, God did not want him to pursue other means of satisfaction.  God wanted him to be fulfilled in his marital relationship and not let sin drive a wedge in there and send him packing.

“Come back, come back, woman of Shulam.” S of S 6:13 photo by vxdigital

Stepping Stone #36 Repent.  “Fish swim, birds fly, Christians repent.”   We swallow our pride, we admit we were wrong, we mourn our shortcomings and passionately seek to pursue maturity by the power of and for the glory of God.