Peppernuts

I love these little babies.  Never made them before but definitely going to become a Christmas tradition in our home from here on out.  Warning, these are time intensive (not complicated though), but so worth it!  Thanks Chris, for the recipe.  It's perfect.  For those of you not familiar with Peppernuts they are a mini Germanic Christmas cookie, small in stature but big in flavor.  This recipe has a distinct peppermint/licorice bite to it and just TASTES like Christmas.

4 cups golden syrup
4 cups white sugar
2 cups margarine

2 beaten eggs
3 teaspoons peppermint extract
2 teaspoons vanilla

1 teaspoon black pepper
1 1/2 teaspoon nutmeg
1 1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
3 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
1/2 teaspoon ground cloves
3/4 teaspoon ground annis

12 cups flour

bring syrup, sugar and margarine to a boil, cool.
add 2 beaten eggs, peppermint and vanilla to cooled syrup mixture
Sift remaining ingredients into 12 cups flour, In VERY large mixing bowl combine dry and wet ingredients, stir and knead until well mixed (I actually mixed it around a bit with a spoon, then my hands, then put half of the mixture into my kitchen aid mixer at a time, and used the dough hook on it until it was well blended, makes a very stiff dough.)

The traditional way of making peppernuts is then to roll out little logs with a diameter about the size of a dime, and then cut little circles about a quarter inch thick.  My friend Chris squeezes them individually through a piping bag, but here's what I did.  I sprinkled my island with white sugar and rolled it out into a long rectangular shape, about a 1/4 inch high.  I then used my pastry cutter to cut straight lines the whole length of the dough, and then criss crossing in the other direction to make little squares about the size of a postage stamp.  (Warning, these will nearly double in size when baked and they are meant to be tiny, so cut the squares or circles SMALL.)  It made the cutting part much quicker but it's the next part that is time consuming.  This is going to make just short of a kazillion little bite size cookies and they each need to go on a cookie sheet with that same postage stamp distance between it and its neighbor.

Bake at 350 for 10-15 minutes depending on the size, mine were small enough that 11 minutes did the trick, but I like mine crunchy.  If you  want them to stay chewy rather than crunchy you will want to make sure to not leave them in there even a minute too long.  I tested one tray, let them cool 2 min's and then was able to tell if I wanted to leave them in longer or less time for the size and consistency I like.  It's a matter of preference.  When they are slightly golden you know they are good to come out though, they will get crunchier over time.

This recipe makes 2 ice cream pails full, and that was after all 7 people in our family were popping them like popcorn while we made them.

You will NOT regret putting the time into making these.

Love is a Verb.

 It's also going to be my word for 2011.  I've been pondering this for a few weeks now;

"We treat love like a noun.  An experience... a moment... a thing.  But in John 13:34 we see a different side of love.  John says simply and honestly, "love on another."  It is not a fireworks feeling or a field of flowers.  It's an action.  A verb.  It's not just about choosing the right person; it's about becoming the right person, the type of person who loves the way Christ loved us."  

Andy Stanley (Thriving Family Magazine, Nov-Dec 2010)

I've got a lot to learn about loving the way Christ loved.  Looking forward to growing in the year to come.

Easiest Poppycock EVER

5 quarts (20 cups) popcorn
8 cups mixed sweet and salty nuts (I bought 2 assorted trays from Walmart)

3/4 cup corn syrup
1/4 butter or margarine
2 teaspoons cold water
2 cups and a heaping 1/2 cup (ie 2 5/8 cup) confectioners sugar
1 cup marshmallows

Reserve Popcorn in 2 of your largest mixing bowls, set nuts aside.  Mix remaining ingredients in a med. sauce pan, bring to heat and bring to a gentle boil, allowing marshmallows to melt completely.  Pour over popcorn mix and toss in nuts.  Can be formed into popcorn balls (butter your hands well for this) or spread out on waxed paper in a 1 inch layer to "dry" before storing in sealed ice cream containers as poppycock.  SUPER quick, SUPER easy, SUPER yummy!

Why I Don't "Do" Carpet

If you were to vacuum a small section of carpet continuously for 20 minutes you would eliminate LESS THAN what percentage of the dust mites that dwell there?

a) less than 2%
b) less than 12%
c) less than 22 percent
d) less than 32%

Peanut Butter Pecan Chocolate Clusters

2 tablespoons creamy peanut butter
1 cup semisweet chocolate chips
1 cup butterscotch chips
2 cups salted pecans ( to salt use 2 tablespoon melted butter, 1 teaspoon salt, coat nuts in ziploc bag)

In medium saucepan combine peanut butter and both types of chocolate chips. Cook over medium heat until smooth. Remove from heat, add pecans, drop by rounded spoonfulls onto waxed paper, cool and refrigerate.

Power!

One flash of lightning generates enough electricity to power the lights in how many houses for an entire year?

10 houses
100 houses
1000 houses
10,000 houses.

Bookends.

The two bookends of salvation.  Justification.  Being made right with God.   Jesus does all the work, it is effortless on our part.

Glorification.  Being given a new body and a heavenly home.  God does it all, because of Christ Jesus, again, effortless on our part.

In the middle of justification and glorification is sanctification and sanctification is NOT effortless, it is a ton of work.  That's why most people like to focus on justification and glorification, "Receive Jesus and go to heaven" and they miss all the stuff in the middle which is... your life.  Your life of sanctification where you repent of sin, you LEARN, you GROW, you CHANGE, and that takes great effort.   It's exhausting.

"The closer I get to Jesus the more I realize how messed up I am."  That is sanctification.  You get closer to Jesus, look at him, look at yourself and realize..." there is much work to be done here."    So you work with Jesus to become more like Him."

From Joy in Exhaustion by Mark Driscoll.  Brought home some truths I have been trying to put my finger on for some time.  Good stuff.  He does not underemphasize that it is still God at work in us to will and be able to do what pleases Him, but He doesn't DO all this work, He empowers us to do the work.  In a different sermon he compared it to tandem cycling on a unicycle.  :)  God moves one pedal, we move the other.  When we are both moving in unison, we will get somewhere.  Really helped me get a clear picture about these three core doctrines of the Christian faith.

As the new year approaches I am looking foward with great anticipation to discovering my "word" for 2010.  Are any of you pondering yours?

Christmas Graham Fudge

2 cups semisweet chocolate chips
1/4 cup butter or margarine
2 1/2 cups graham cracker crumbs
1 1/2 cups almonds or pecans, chopped
14 oz sweetened condensed milk
1 tspn vanilla

melt chocolate chips and butter together until smooth.  In large bowl combine graham crumbs and nuts.  Stir in sweetened condensed milk and vanilla until crumbs are moistened, then stir in chocolate mixture.  Spoon into greased 9x13 baking pan.  Let stand at room temp for 2 hours before cutting into squares.

I'm Alive! And Kicking!

Okay, so I've turned into one of "those" bloggers.  Those non-blogging-bloggers.  Eek.  I have contemplated shutting down, just because (the perfectionist in me says) I'm not blogging with any regularity, partially on purpose, but the other half of me (the non perfectionist half) says, "aw, what the heck, just leave it there and use it when you want to."  Cool.  I'm cool with that.  I think I am mellowing out as I age, and that is a real. good. thing.

Had a few rough days there, November can sometimes arrive accompanied by sneak panic attacks warning me that depression could just be looming behind any given door, waiting to catch me unawares.  I think it has to do with the short days, less time outside, less sunlight and fresh air.  Accompanying a dear friend through some struggles that she is facing, and fearing for her as I watch her teeter on the edge of her own depression brought me to a bit of a shaky place myself.  I started keeping a journal for her, with words of encouragement, hope and experience, and it has been therapeutic for me as well as I remember the faithfulness of God to carry me through the dark times and prove Himself true and able. 

I just realized I didn't post an update after going for my ultrasound on the 29th of October but happily, thankfully, that pesky placenta has moved into its proper position and I am good to go.  The lab tech was not able to get a good enough view of the area in question to tell us the sex of the baby, so we're going to get a surprise.  Got a girl's name all picked out from start to finish but drawing blanks on the boys (gee, we've already used up 7 boys names, it starts to get tough!). 

'Tis the season, once again, and while I know my American friends are gearing up for Thanksgiving this week, we are already steeped in preparations for advent.  Oh, how I love this season.  Any season really, it is so good to contemplate the gifts He gives in each season of life.

So although you might not see me much right here, you will probably catch a glimpse of me a litle more often over here as I don my apron and make merry in the kitchen with my girls.  Today it's easy breezy graham fudge.  Oh yeah.  Second batch this year.  Eek.

Sweetened Condensed Milk DIY

1 can evaporated milk
1 1/4 cup sugar

dissolve sugar in milk, cool, voila. Saves paying that extra buck they charge you at the grocery store.

alternatively, if you don't even have evaporated milk on hand (which I often don't, it's not a staple around here and I tend to only replace staples) you can simmer 2 cups milk until reduced to 60% and then add sugar. Even cheaper!

It's Christmas Baking Season around here. I will put up my easy breezy graham fudge recipe later today after it cools and I can snap some pics.

Thinkin’ Pink

 

A girl can dream, no? 

Right now this house seems filled with a frightening level of testosterone. 

I would just love for the next little addition to our family to be a sweet, serene, wee  little lass who would delight in cuddling up with me and the girls to lose ourselves in the world of Ingleside and Anne instead of out catching their hair on fire while burning the garbage…

or putting a piece of paper towel over the toaster and turning it on.  Seriously.  On purpose, people.

When it comes to catching things on fire, blowing things up and shooting bullets… I think we’ve got our hands full.

So I will keep thinkin’ pink.  But that doesn’t mean I’m completely opposed to blue.  Pink is purdy. But blue is purdy darn cool,  too.

It's Complicated

Just when I was ready to fall into a familiar and happy fall routine my world kind of got dumped on its head.  On Monday I started bleeding and was sent into the hospital for tests, Tuesday found me at the radiologists in hopes that they would find the source of the bleeding, and all week has been one of many questions with no answers.  My doctor was away and I never seemed to speak to the same person twice, and always on my own initiative (noone was calling me) and until yesterday I was completely in the dark and felt like I was wandering around in no man's land without an advocate.  The ultrasound tests I took on Tuesday morning weren't signed off on until FRIDAY morning and noone could give me an answer one way or the other until they knew the results of those tests.  It was very emotionally draining.

Finally my doctor was back and I had an appointment to see him first thing yesterday morning only to get there and find out that he had just been called away to labor and delivery.  I literally felt the tears well up and felt I couldn't spend one more day in the dark.  Thankfully another doctor in my clinic had a cancellation later that morning and took me in, and by that time my ultrasound report had FINALLY been released and he was able to give me some answers and counsel.

So it turns out that I have a very low lying placenta.  1.8 cm from my cervix with the baby laying transverse right on top of it.  Not good.  The tests weren't able to show conclusively where the bleeding was coming from (because I wasn't bleeding at that moment, but have bled once daily since Monday,  flow... not spotting), but it is possible it is coming from pressure on my placenta which is a common occurence with placenta previa. 

Practically speaking I am supposed to take it easy, avoiding all lifting or straining, or any jarring movements, but if things don't change in the next three weeks it will get more serious.  This pesky placenta needs to move out of there and get back in its proper place or I will find myself being ordered on bed rest and then later a scheduled c-section.  Would appreciate prayers that neither of those things happen.  (Well, I don't care about the c-section so much, but I really can't imagine the thought of 5 months of bed rest).

So that's where I've been and that's where I'm at.  Very thankful to at least know what is going on, and that it is not something more serious, but it is still pretty serious for a busy momma of 5 (with a dear extended family of 6 staying with us until they find housing and work)  to immagine the possible repurcussions of this complication. 

Love to you all.

Just Breathing

I know my word for 2010 was JOY, but as the year has progressed I have come to realize that I can't have joy without peace, and thus this year has seemed to become a continuation of last, but with a slight variation.  Last year I dubbed myself in "pursuit" of peace.  This year I have been struggling to wrap my brain around a major paradigm shift (for me) that seems to be beckoning me to accept that peace isn't necessarily something to be pursued, but rather something to be embraced.  The thing that stands in hindrance to my peace (of mind, heart, body, soul) is, when it really comes down to it, pursuit itself.  The pursuit of MORE of something.  More of this, more of that, more of... you name it.  I think if God has been trying to tell me anything this year it is that peace and joy require me embracing who I am, where I am, with what I have been given and (could it really be?) nothing more.

This is huge for me, because I am, after all, a first born perfectionist who has always been in pursuit of perfecting (or at least improving) SOMETHING.    I think it gives me a feeling of being in control of my my life.  Successful.  Fulfilled.  With it (cough, cough).  Recently I was struck by these lyrics from an Alli Rogers song;

"when I'm away from my source of peace
something fills that space in me
and it feels like
I don't need you"

My source of peace.  Wow.  That hit me like a ton of bricks.  Here I am pursuing peace and all that jazz, pursuing, pursuing, pursuing... something/one that lives in me.  Something/one that is WITHIN.  Something/one I merely need to embrace.  And the rest of it?  Well, the rest of it is what keeps me from embracing.  Keeps me moving, reaching, running.  The things that fill the spaces and take a stranglehold on me and keep me from just... breathing.

So that's what I'm working on.  Just... breathing.

Great Expectations.

The girls told me last night that they prayed for a baby sister.  As the story unfolded they explained that they will only ask ONCE, because if they continue asking it will look like they don’t have faith  and God doesn’t honor prayers that aren’t prayed in faith.  So they prayed ONCE with childlike faith and have great expectations.  As do we!

Snapshots of a Prairie Existence

First things first.  A favorite cuppa this

then grab these

to spend some lovely quiet time here

after which I head out to feed this little jigger

while warding off this not so little jigger

then pick some of this

to make some of this

hang a little of this

  

cut a little of this

and this

and this

and if I want to rack up some brownie points with my husband this

then weed a little of this

and this

and this

then pour myself a glass of this

and sit back down in this

and wait for my dragon slayer to pull up

when the fun really begins.

and of course these pictures don’t really do any justice to the faces I washed, the teeth I brushed, the bums I wiped, the mouths I fed, the stories I read, the rooms I cleaned and the people I loved.  But it’s a snapshot I thought you might enjoy.

A Fixed Gaze.

photo by lynnc

So I’ve been thinking.  I lose sight of the big picture so easily.  Get bogged down in chains of denial and apathy and distraction.  I forget what it’s really all about and even in my striving  ironically I somehow manage to alienate myself from Him.  It really is all about relationship.  With Him.  Period.  Everything else is just a byproduct.  It’s not who I am.  It’s not why I’m here.  It’s not important except to the extent it causes me to turn to Him, learn from Him, grow in Him.  It really is all about Him and the relationship He has procured with me and desires from me. 

“Having no relationship with God, humankind has likewise struggled with its personal identity and purpose for being here.  Being a man or a woman may describe one’s sexuality, but it doesn’t define one’s identity.  As a result of the curse, women will bear their children in pain and men shall work by the sweat of their brow.  Consequently, women have historically tried to find their identity in their role as mother, and men have tried to find their identity in their careers. But what if a woman never gets married or is unable to bear children?  What if the man loses his job or the ability to work?  Do those men and women lose their primary identity in Christ, or their God given purpose for being here? 

Trying to be our own “god” has driven people to improve their appearance, to perform better and to seek a higher social status as a means of verification.  However, whatever pinnacle of self identity we manage to achieve soon crumbles under the pressure of hostile rejection or criticism, introspection or guilt, fear or anxiety.  Somebody will eventually look better, perform at a higher standard and reach a greater social status.  Everything we have managed to achieve or possess by human effort we shall one day lose.  We are incomplete without Christ, and nothing we can do by way of self help will make us whole.

The natural person senses that something is missing but fails to fill the void by human effort.  There is a longing for wholeness and a deep inner groaning as a result of its absence, but we are not alone in our groaning.  “We know that the whole creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time” (Rom 8:22)  All of creation was affected by the Fall and longs for the day of redemption.

Neil Anderson, The Daily Discipler, pp36-37

That bolded list gave me serious pause for thought this morning.  What pressures work away at my identity and distract me from the reality of who I am and what I am here for?  Introspection is a huge one for me.  I think anxiety goes hand in hand with it as well.  I spend more time thinking through things and worrying about stuff in some ridiculous manner like I can actually control the outcome if I figure it all out, that I forget that He is Lord of every situation and wants to intimately lead and guide and be One with me in and through and as a result of every single situation in my life.

How about you?  Which of those heavy words weighed down by  chains of bondage tend to tie you up and hold you down? 

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith,  Hebrews 12:1-2

Gratitude

The unthankful heart... discovers no mercies; but let the thankful heart sweep through the day and, as the magnet finds the iron, so it will find, in every hour, some heavenly blessings!  ~Henry Ward Beecher

for a warm snug house on a dreary rainy day

for new spaces that create dearly appreciated space for this growing, busy family

for the gift of words on paper, and on this screen, that exhort, encourage, inspire, convict

for a man who loves me despite my weaknesses and shows me in so many ways

for the gift of praise and faith that issues forth from my children, in their journaling, in their prayers, in their thoughts expressed around the dinner table at family devotions

for steamy chai lattes and fresh baked bread and friends to share them with

for dreams and plans, hope for the future

for daily provision in the simple things and the extravagant, my Father is so lavishly generous.

For time.  Time alone, time with my beloved, time with my little rugrats, time with friends, time with My Lord.  Time is so precious.

for a husband who is the most responsible, hard working, diligent, amazing man I know (sorry girls).  I am continuously astounded by what this man can and does accomplish. 

For the gift of modern conveniences.  As my washer spins, my dishwasher hums and  my breadmaker kneads… it is all music to my ears and I just smile.  I will even relish the sound and warmth of the dryer today for a change, as the rain comes down in a steady shower outside my window.

Paint, Flooring, Furniture, Oh My!

Soooooooo excited that I couldn’t wait for good lighting to show you what’s happening in the addition.  Speaking of lighting I’ll start with that.

Bought these cute wall sconces at Home Depot, they match some iron sconces we brought from Italy that will hang from the centre of the room (not up yet).

 

the wide doorway leading from the old teensy weensy living room that will now be a piano room.

 

Prairie Guy just brought these two club chairs home from the city (on sale for 150.00 each!)  for me yesterday, I am beside myself with excitement.  They will be very easy to match when I finally purchase a new couch and love seat.

  

this summer Prairie Guy has big plans to replace the siding and trim on our house and build me a brick patio.   Come winter he will finish the trim on these rooms which will include this type of square panel wainscoting and lots of wide white trim.

off of the new living room is my new schoolroom.  We purchased this huge U shaped desk from Costco ($299.00!), but separated it into two pieces.  This part will be the computer desk.

and this will be our science workspace.

the table I bought at Canadian Tire on clearance for $60.00

the chairs are our classic Tuscan chairs, I want to redo the seats with a nice padded leather.  I have 10 of these chairs so when I finally get the new dining room chairs I’m dreaming of our schoolroom will be well equipped with chairs!

  

the printer stand was an old piece I had purchased years ago for $50.00  as a tv/vcr stand, it matches perfect!

I have 3 large bookcases that will go along this wall, basically making it wall to wall and floor to ceiling bookcase.

 

my fun antique lighting.  love them.  I think the centre piece was 49.99 and the individual lights over the two desks were 29.99 at Home Depot.

 

Now to accessorize and utilize this amazing new space!

Ain't That The Truth?

"Truth will not set you free if it is only acknowledged and intellectually discussed.  Truth must be personally believed and appropriated in the heart."

Neil Anderson, The Daily Discipler, p 16

The Discipleship Growth Chart

growth chart from the pottery barn

I loved this concise yet detailed breakdown of the basic developmental stages of both growth and conflict in the life of the disciple in the introduction to The Daily Discipler.  I found it fascinating to look at the stages of development and be able to track my own growth pretty clearly on the chart.  Check it out;

Levels of Conflict


Spiritual
Level 1     lack of salvation or assurance thereof (Eph 2:1-3)
Level 2     living according to the flesh (Gal 5:19-21)
Level 3     insensitive to the spirit's leading (Heb 5:11-14)


Rational
Level 1     pride and ignorance (1 Cor 8:1)
Level 2     wrong belief or philosophy (Col 2:8)
Level 3     lack of knowledge (Hos 4:6)


Emotional
Level 1     fearful, guilty or shameful (Mat 10:26-33; Rom 3:23)
Level 2     angry, anxious or depressed (Eph 4:31; 1 Pet 5:7; 2 Cor 4:1-18)
Level 3     discouraged and sorrowful (Gal 6:9)


Volitional
Level 1     rebellious (1 Tim 1:9)
Level 2     lack of self control (1 Cor 3:1-3)
Level 3     undisciplined (2 Thess 3:7,11)


Relational
Level 1    rejected and unloved (1 Pet 2:4)
Level 2    bitter and unforgiving (Col 3:13)
Level 3    selfish (1 Cor 10:24; Phil 2:1-5

then there is another chart for levels of growth that mirrors the first chart and our inner conflicts

Spiritual
Level 1     child of God (Rom 8:16)
Level 2     lives according to the Spirit (Gal 5:22-23)
Level 3     led by the Spirit (Rom 8:14)


Rational
Level 1     knows the truth (John 8:32)
Level 2     correctly uses the Bible (2 Tim 2:15)
Level 3     adequate and equipped (2 Tim 3:16-17)


Emotional
Level 1     free (Gal 5:1)
Level 2     joyful, peaceful and patient (Gal 5:22)
Level 3     contented (Phil 4:11)


Volitional
Level 1     submissive (Rom 13:1-5)
Level 2     self controlled (Gal 5:23)
Level 3     disciplined (1 Tim 4:7-8)


Relational
Level 1     accepted and forgiven (Rom 5:8; 15:7)
Level 2     forgiving (Eph 4:32)
Level 3     loving and unselfish. (Phil 2:1-5)

(Neil T. Anderson, The Daily Discipler, pp14-15)

I have to say this just was such an eye opener to me.  To look at those phases of conflict paired with the phases of growth and to actually "see" what it is we should be growing into, and examine where we are at on the growth chart.  When we are struggling with something to be able to hold it up to this and ask, "what am I really struggling with here?"  If it's submission, then is it pride, or rebellion, or self control on my part that I need to check?  I'm liking this tool.

Daily Discipleship

For years Prairie Guy and I have had a heart for discipleship.  We've known that it is an integral and vital aspect of the christian walk, both to BE  a disciple, following in the footsteps of the Master, and to disciple, as He commanded His followers to do.  "Go now and MAKE disciples."  were His words.

Of course, not having had anyone who took us under their wing to disciple us, and having put so much energy into seeking to be good disciples ourselves, we were always left scratching our heads about the practicalities of discipling others.  Where do you start?  How do you proceed?  We have long been on the lookout for a resource that could be practical and helpful in pursuing this great commission of discipleship. 

Well stop the press, I do believe we found it.  After finishing "The Life You've Always Wanted" by John Ortberg, which is truly the most practical and inspiring book I have ever read on the spiritual disciplines, I went to the Christian Bookstore with the sole purpose of seeking out a book on systematic discipleship.  A book that would walk a body through, step by step, the doctrines of the christian faith from start to finish.  A primer for a life of spiritual growth if you will.  Sound lofty?  Sound impossible?  Yeah, I didn't have high hopes, but it was what I was hoping and praying for.

And folks, I do believe I found it.  Please bear with me while I "freak out" with excitement over my new book.

It's called The Daily Discipler and it is written by Neil Anderson.  The back of the book reads;

"We all have busy lives, and the pace seems to be getting faster.  Daily demands can easily crowd out what is truly important and essential for our spiritual growth and health...

Reading this practical discipler five minutes a day, five days a week, for one year will give you exposure to a comprehensive and very practical course of systematic theology.  Following Paul's outline for growth in Colossians 2:6-7, part I will help you get firmly rooted in Christ.  You will learn who you are in Christ and who God is, plus other critically important foundations for your faith. 

Part 2 teaches you how to grow in Christ and overcome anger, anxiety, depression and fear.  You will earn how to live by faith in the power of the Holy Spirit. 

Part 3 teaches you how to live in Christ and be a good steward of what He has entrusted to you. 

Part 4 teaches you how to overcome in Christ the enemies that strive to keep you from living like a child of God, namely the world, the flesh and the devil.

Bring.  It.  On.

Appropriate Smallness

photo by samweng

Why so quiet, you ask?  Well, spring finally hit the great north and who has time to sit in front of a computer when there is so much fun to be had outside?  But now as planting season draws to a close and the temps start to soar I find myself welcoming the cool, shaded retreat of a closed up house for a short reprieve and some quieter pursuits.

While my hands have been busy, my mind has been relatively at rest, but not altogether devoid of mental fodder.  Let's see.  A  month or so back I quoted from one of the chapters in "The Life You've Always Wanted" (this has been a very gently and yet inspirationally impactful read for me!) that focused on what he refers to as "appropriate smallness" (ie, humility).  Really, I have pretty much been moored at that chapter and another one in conjunction with it (more to come on that later), just truly letting the thoughts settle and take root in the soil of my own life.  There is great truth and great challenge to be found here for me.
His sub list for "appropriate smallness" touched on;

a)vanity

b)stubbornness

c)exclusion (excluding God and other people from their rightful place in our hearts). He writes; "Pride moves us to judge rather than to serve. Pride means not only that we want to be smart and wealthy (insert your competitive streak here), but also that we will not be satisfied until we are smarter and wealthier than those around us. Pride is essentially comparative nature."

OUCH.

That ripped open a gaping hole for me to stare into, aghast,  and recognize that oh.yes.siree.pride-is-alive-and well-in-the-chasms-of-this-body-of-death.  Trust me when I say it wasn't pretty.

Well, he diagnosed the problem... what about the remedial course of action?  I just love what he had to say about humility.

"Humility has to do with submitted willingness. It involves healthy self-forgetfulness. We will know we have begun to make progress in humility when we find that we get so enabled by the Holy Spirit to live in the moment that we cease to be preoccupied with ourselves one way or the other."

So like I said, I've been moored at the dock of "appropriate smallness" for some weeks now and it is revolutionizing my life.  No great miracles or anything, just a peace inducing state with a lack of striving, be it mental, emotional, physical.  Just living in the moment, making the most of each day seeking to build into others while rising and falling to the rhythm of life, be it catching a tidal wave one day and hanging on for the ride or just kicking back and splashing in the shallows.

Life is good.  It is especially good when you discover the secret to being high on life has absolutely nothing to do with being high on yourself but has everything in the world to do with discovering your appropriate smallness.

These are the Moments

That I have to make time to capture.  Can’t seem to make time to capture my own thoughts in print, but swing on over here to get a glimpse into the everyday goings on around here.  This is what I’m doin’… raisin’ these kids and lovin’ this man and falling into bed exhausted but happy at the end of the day.

Evergreen

Question:  What do you call a tree that doesn't lose its leaves in winter?

Answer: "A pine..... a..... pineapple..... no.... a.... ummmm.... oh yeah, I know! A PALM tree!"

The Hero, aged 6

A Little Less Talk

photo by bewinca

and a lot more action.  Okay, so it’s a lame line from a country song… but it really does represent a great truth.  It’s something I’ve been trying to teach my kids of late.  That if they would shush up, hunker down, stay focused and follow through things would run smoothly for the most part and we wouldn’t have so much drama. 

I heard myself saying something to that affect not long ago and had to take a step back and listen.  To myself.  Yeah… it was a classic case of “practice what you preach there, girl”. 

So just in *case* anyone’s wondering where I’ve gotten to… I’m here.  Just talking less and doing more.  Lots of fascinating things tumbling around in my head and heart that I may or may not reveal sooner or later but not necessarily sooner than later :)

A Pilgrim’s Progress

photo by halocyn

“Pride is a persistent problem for people who strive for spiritual growth.

Once in a while I go on a diet.  At those times, if I am in a restaurant, watching people eat, I find certain thoughts involuntarily running through my mind.  How can people eat like that?  How can they treat their bodies that way?  don’t they know that junk is lethal?  Have they no discipline, no self-restraint?  Are these the ones, then, of whom Paul wrote, “their end is destruction; their god is the belly?”

I get these thoughts even though- or perhaps more precisely, because- these people are eating the same things I ate yesterday before my diet began and will be eating again next week after I have given it up.

Here is the problem.  When I try to do something good, I am intensely aware of it.  And I tend to be aware of other people who aren’t putting forth the same effort.  Then I tend to think they should : I start to compare my effort with their sloth.  The result is pride, comparison, judgmentalism, and a lack of love. 

One of the hardest things in the world is to stop being the prodigal son without turning into the elder brother.”

John Ortberg; “Appropriate Smallness"

Ouch.  I asked for it.  And I got it.  “Show me the root of this inner struggle, Lord… what am I *really* wrestling with here?”  BOING.  Ask and you shall receive.  The problem?  Pride.  The worst kind of pride, for there are many… mine is the sneaky kind.  The kind cloaked in false humility and self aggrandizement.  You know, the kind that is proud of being humble… ouch.  Yeah… all the symptoms are there, there’s no denial of this diagnosis.  But where do I go from here? 

“So how can humility be pursued….?  The ministry of bearing with one another is more than simply tolerating difficult people.  It is also learning to hear God speak through them.  It is learning to be “for” them.  It is learning that the difficult person I have most to deal with is ME. 

This means that a part of the ministry to which I am called is to free people- repeatedly if necessary- from the little mental prisons to which I confine them.  It may be a person who criticizes me, whether justly or unjustly, lovingly or spitefully.  It may be the most difficult kind of person of all- one in whom I see the same struggles that rage inside me.

Bearing with them does not require becoming best friends, but means learning to wish them well, releasing our right to hurt them back, coming to experience our common standing before the cross.

It turns out that the life we have always wanted- when our wants are purified and true- is a life of humility.”

John Ortberg, The Life You’ve Always Wanted.

I feel rather  like Pilgrim. I’ve just discovered this bulky burden on my back.  With trembling fingers I’m reaching for the buckles that have held this pack in place for God only knows how long.  I’m laying it down in pursuit of the life I’ve always wanted.   Trading it in.  Extra baggage for appropriate smallness. After all, I've always wanted to be small =) Here's my chance.   

Reach.

photo by eyebiz 

(This is a cross post from Prairie Passages.  Please feel free to join us there as we seek to touch His garment each day through the words He has left us).

"He had healed many; insomuch that they pressed against Him to try to touch Him." Mark 3:10

...The picture of the people thronging here about Christ, pressing upon Him, each one eagerly struggling to touch Him, is very graphic and vivid. A touch was enough. All that touched Him were made whole. Life and health flowed into the diseased bodies where the trembling fingers came in contact with the Healer, even with His garments. So a touch is enough always.

Anyone who regularly touches Christ is healed. But we must be sure to touch Him. It is not enough to be in the crowd that gathers about Him. Only those are healed whose faith truly brings them in contact with Him. It is not enough to be in the congregation that worships. One sitting or bowing next to us may receive a great blessing while we receive none at all. It is because he reaches out his hand of faith and touches Christ, while we, as close to Christ as he is, do not put our hand out to touch Him, and therefore receive no blessing."

Excerpt from Come Ye Apart by J.R. Miller

Reach, my friends. Keep reaching. I am blessed every time I see you touch the hem of His garment.

Praise the Lamb

photo by raichlinger

You are my

sacrifice

My lamb

I lay on the altar

So that I

may have life

Your blood

is my way to the Father.

 

photo by littleman

So I offer up my life

It’s all that I have to give

I confess that I have sinned.

Praise the Lamb

Praise the Lamb

Praise the Lamb

Who was slain.

 

photo by Nota

Almighty God

beheld in flesh

Your body

Murdered and buried.

Rising up

Overcoming death

Our burdens

You lifted and carried

 photo by kianee

So I offer up my life

It’s all that I have to give

and confess that I have sinned

Praise the Lamb

Praise the Lamb

Praise the Lamb.

 

photo by lindamac

With one sacrifice

You have  forever made perfect

those

who are being made holy

we’re being made holy

we’re being made holy.

Music and Lyrics by Alli Rogers

 

“The Lord has prepared a sacrifice; He has made holy His invited guests.” Zephaniah 1:7

Praise The Lamb!