Christmas Concerts & Calamity

Mommy fell and sprained her wrist


Daddy's cold has him in fits


But we're so cute and had a blast
acting scenes from Christmas past


Prairie Poppet as Mary in her class
Prairie Girl as a shepherd from the "west"
Prairie Hero as Joseph, was the best


Prairie Rugrat as Jesus with wisemen guests


Here we are in Christmas attire


opening gifts before we retire

we wish God's peace to you and yours
here at home or on foreign shores
Merry Christmas from our home to yours

Christmas Comedians

As I placed a platter of wings in the centre of the table this evening The Poppet cries out; "What!? A partridge in a pear tree?!" That cracked me up well enough without P-Girl's addendum of "No silly, those are.......(ready for this? Sing it now...) Five GOL-DEN wings". What a couple of silly gooses.

Snow Day!

Hey R & L, these are for you.... a little refreshment to cool you off after your day in the Hawaiian sun! :P

Look at the snow!

Look at the snow!

We'll all take our sleds and off we go!

Up the hills we walk so slow and drag our toboggans in the snow.

But once at the top of the hill we know that like the wind we'll go, go, go!

Oh the fun as we swiftly fly over the snow like a bird on high!

It takes our breath as our sleds speed by, noone's as happy as you and I!

Summers may come and summers may go but as for us, we'll take the snow!

Look at the Snow, Mary Carolyn Davies

House Fairy Hilarity

Recently we introduced the House Fairy to our girls. She is the bedroom inspector that relieves Mommy from being the big bad bedroom guru. Amazing how bringing a little fun and fantasy into the mix has spiced up the hum drum every day occasion of bedroom clean up. The House Fairy spends her days inspecting children's bedrooms. You never know when she will arrive, so you must be ready any given day.... if she finds your room clean and orderly she will leave a little surprise on your neatly made bed.

It has taken us awhile to get to the point where the girls understand what true neat and orderliness looks like. They now understand that neat and orderly includes under the bed and behind the furniture. They have also discovered how easy it is to keep their room clean if they regularily clean up after themselves everytime they do something. Needless to say, I am one happy Momma. The girls embraced the fantasy play without any questions or discussion... just dove in and had fun with it.

In the past couple days The Hero (3) has wanted to take on the responsibility of cleaning his own room so that he can have visits from the House Fairy too. I am AMAZED at how meticulous he is about putting ALL his toys in the right bins and leaving his room spotless. So yesterday he got his first surprise visit from the House Fairy and she left a play shield on his bed. It was so funny when he discovered it and came flying out of his room yelling "Look what Mommy.... I mean the House Fairy left me!" Astute little bugger. He looked at me and said "Mommy, right you're the house fairy?" 3 pairs of eyes turn on me inquisitively. Shucks. What's a Momma to say? So I fabricated some story about how I partner with the House Fairy (adding a little wink for The Poppet's benefit), I buy the treats but SHE inspects and delivers.

Later The Hero wanted to know if the House Fairy celebrated Christmas. Oh dear, now what I have gotten myself into.... I've always been uncomfortable when secular and religious tradition are allowed to converge and that's why we've never thrown Santa into our Christmas celebrations.... I emphatically insisted that the House Fairy's sole purpose in life is to inspect children's bedrooms and he seemed satisfied with that. Make-believe is fun, but man it's hard work knowing how much to really let them believe! I think at this point they all pretty much realize the House Fairy is invented by Mommy as a smart parenting tactic and have just that narrowest margin of "but maybe...." to keep it intriguing. I'm okay with that!

I think this is a good springboard to get them working dilligently, once it becomes habitual, they realize it's not as hard as they think it is and we can "grow out" of this into something more mature, for now we will have fun with this!

Cozy Christmas

Okay, so I caved and the big tree went up in the little sitting room and the result was not nearly as intimidating as I had pictured. Yes, I crammed it way into the corner and smashed the back branches up but who will ever know?

The kids hung all the decorations themselves as high as they could reach and told me the meanings behind each set. They even made up a new meaning, the harps represent King David who was a shepherd king who reigned wisely (just happen to be reading about him in our devotions) and was a picture of Jesus, the shepherd of our hearts who will reign with peace and majesty over all nations. Wow. Cool.

As we worship Him and remember His first coming in this holiday season, may our hearts look forward with expectation to His second advent. Merry Christmas from our house to yours!

Comical Caroling

"Oh what fun it is to ride on a horse`s broken legs." Prairie Hero (3)

Deep Discussions

Prairie Girl (8) "God knew Saul was not going to be a faithful King, so why did He pick him?"

Prairie Poppet (5) "So....did Saul and Samson go to heaven when they died?"

Prairie Hero (3) "God is God's gift to us."

Had a great discussion with P-girl on the first question. Had one of those "only God knows" discussions with The Poppet on the second. And The Hero insists on saying his "verse" like this EVERY SINGLE DAY. I have since stopped trying to correct him since Jesus is, after all, God... glad he's got such a solid grasp on that!

Silly Stuff

The Poppet (5) is reading like a trooper, it is so much fun to see her carefully sound out the sentences in her little primers and then quickly rattle off the sentence in reptetition of what she just sounded out. When her school work is done she often takes a pen and paper and goes to the dining room table and writes out words. Until yesterday she would always copy words she saw elsewhere (imagine my surprise to see her neat little writing on a post it note reading; "A Marriage Book with a Difference" from the back of my Love and Respect book! But yesterday she started writing out her own words. That was fun! Here they are;

hrs hf
brn dr
sno flk

(horse hoof, barn door, snow flake). Darling.

And just a few minutes ago she was attempting to help me get a bingo in scrabble. I had a whopper word that spanned two double word scores and needed to find a way to use one last letter to get a quadruple word bingo worth MEGA points. My word was "lathing" with the n being on the board and an r left in my rack. She asked me what my word said, and I informed her it was lathing. She looked at the r in my rack and carefully sounded out "lay-thing-er".... :D

Yesterday in the city we were stopped at a light behind a semi. The Hero (3) wanted to know how long I thought the semi was. Not being a good judge of measurements I declined a guess. The poppet piped up with; "Well, it could be about 33 feet long. But you can't really know unless you measure it!" So cute. Upon reflection I don't think she was too far off in her estimate either!

Transforming Traditions

Visiting with the gals (hey Chris) yesterday got me a few inches deeper in the groove of the Christmas spirit as tales were told of trees already up and trees to be gotten over the next week. It made me realize little ways traditions have changed for us over the years, and apparently continue to change. Funny considering I thought I would be the biggest stickler on keeping the (whatever "the" might be) tradition having grown up in a home where they were not kept or valued at all.

Hearing the girls discuss their coming trips out into the woodlands to get their trees brought back warm fuzzy memories of one of the first traditions we began as a family. Our very own tradition of going on a trail ride on remembrance day to find and mark the special tree with a surveyors ribbon, then going back to cut it down on the first nice day of December.

Sadly, this tradition got laid to rest when we moved to Italy as it is against the law to cut down trees there.... so I clenched my teeth and bought an artifical tree. Having lost one tradition I was bound and determined to begin a new one, so we decided to make that about the decorations more than about the tree. Every decoration was picked with care and had to have something to do with the nativity story, or the story of the fall and redemption of mankind. One night at a time we would devote 15 minutes to discussing/reading verses on a certain aspect of the gospel/nativity and put up the corresponding decorations.

The tree itself represents both the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, that was part of man's downfall, and the tree of life, that is part of God's redemption promise to us. The lights represent Jesus being the light of the world, etc. We have fruit to represent the temptation of the fall, angels, harps and horns to represent the joyful annunciation of Jesus birth, and of course the glorious star to top it all off. Every night in the month of December we also take time to sing a couple of Christmas carols so that we can get them all in without getting hoarse. Then on Christmas Eve the kids set out the nativity scene as we tell the nativity story after having celebrated a special family supper with a birthday cake for Jesus.

I thought when we moved home we would for sure go back to a REAL tree, I mean, artificial "just isn't the same" as people say. But somehow we never did. Part of it being due to a unit on conservation Shay and I did together in grade one, probably. It instilled such an awe and appreciation for the fine tuned creation and how we are to care for it and nurture it, appreciate it and use it wisely and carefully. I just couldn't turn a blind eye to millions of healthy natural trees being cut down for a months indoor pleasure (I have no problem with nursery trees grown for that purpose, except for the consumerism aspect). Aside from that, I think I just realized changing the tradition hadn't really changed anything at all. Things were just as warm and fuzzy as before.

This year, it would appear our tradition is about to undergo another transformation.... a BIG one. Me, who cried desperate tears when my mother stopped putting up a tree in favor of a nativity scene, me, who has fought the conservative Italian argument of trees being a pagan practice and WON, now on the eve of foregoing the tree altogether. Gasp. I never could have foretold it, LOL! Truly, we went to start hanging the garland in our huge picture windows last night, carefully positioning candles in the centre of the frame mantles, red berries and golden fruit carefully nestled among the green branches. They look so beautiful, so decorative, and yet so unassuming and gentle.

When I thought about putting up that huge tree that would dwarf a quarter of the room (literally, we have a very small sitting room and a very large tree...) somehow, the lightness in my heart popped and it felt all wrong for the picture. Maybe flylady has affected me more than I know with the keep it simple, do not overdo it, do not let yourself get weighed down by excess, less is more mantras. Truly, I just felt like I would add 1,000 lbs of clutter to that room by putting a tree up. The kids agreed that the garlands were so beautiful and that really, our living room does not afford space for a tree, so that was that. We decided to hange the Christmas tree ornaments on the garland and forego the tree altogether. I am still in shock. Me, the tradition stickler. Like I said, I never could have foretold it. I guess I have come to realize that traditions can evolve over time, and that it does not have to be a sad affair. Actually, I am amazingly elated and my kids are just as sparkly eyed as ever. Life is sweet.

Money, It's Kinda Funny (short and sweet).

This will be quick and painless after yesterday's mega post ;) and hopefully it will bring a smile to your face. A little background...

Since we found out we were expecting number five we have been discussing replacing our truck (two door Chevy extended cab) so that the whole family would fit in BOTH vehicles. There are not many options when you are looking for an 8 seater with cargo space, so a Suburban was pretty much the only option in our minds. We were seriously considering going down to the states to get one since the economy really favors that right now. Somehow though, neither of else felt full peace about pursuing anything and we let it slide. A week or so ago we had a serious conversation about how much we actually NEEDED two 8 passenger vehicles as most of the time we can go places together in the van, the issue is only when we want to pull something, then we can't go together in the truck and would have to take two vehicles. We were questioning wether that really made it a "need" or a luxury.

Anyway, neither of us knew, but day before yesterday I thought to myself, "we should just stop looking for a Suburban. If the time and situation is right something will come up without our even looking for it." At the same time Pietro was thinking the same thing but also that he should let go of his "year ideal" and be willing to buy an older one that was in good shape as that would save quite a bit of money.

Lo and behold, *last night* (literally the day after we said, *if* something flies out of the sky and hits us on the head) we get an email from old friends who know nothing about all this, they didn't even know we were expecting, wondering if we would be be interested in their suburban. They need to get a truck for work, and since they only have three kids, they don't really need it. The trade in was going to be a near give away on their part and they thought they would rather "give it away" to friends, than to a dealer. So they offered us their Suburban, which is everything and more we would have put on our wish list, for about half the price of what we were considering paying.

God, you are funny and amazing. Living with you is an adventure and a joy.

More Money Musings (megapost)

So, I've continued to mull over the two extremes of money management, attempting to reach a balance (pardon the pun). It's interesting that we happen to be learning about the Puritans and Quakers in early american history right now, so I see the strict Puritan "plain life" as the opposite extreme of the consumeristic society we live in today. Neither are "on the money" if you ask me.

So my struggle? I want to recognize that we idolize possessions in our society, but I also want to recognize that things in and of themselves are not evil or idols. It's my priorities and the position they hold *within* me that makes them "good" or "bad". I've been mulling the most over all the "leisure" things we own. It's easy for me to look at those things and label them as selfish and carnal and feel guilt over owning them. To think that if I have all these "materials" that must make me "materialistic" and that I must not be being a good steward of God's money if I am spending His money on stuff like that! But then slowly over the past week I've been realizing that good stewardship isn't just about NOT spending on yourself, but HOW you spend on yourself. I really hope I am not deluded and justifying (I don't believe I am at all, but it's possible and I don't want to be closed to the possibility) but I have come to the conclusion that we have not been poor stewards by making these purchases. We have merely saved money in *other* areas, and chosen to spend that saved money on *these* areas.

We choose to take nearly free holidays every year (camping) because it kills us to spend tons of money on hotels and getaways and restaurant food. We would way rather put that money toward a "holiday" type fixture that will be ours permanently and will provide fun and leisure time to us as a family every week of the year (or every week of a season). So if we choose to never take costly trips or eat out rarely as a family, that is a form of good stewardship for us. Friends of ours just sacrificed many other things and saved for an entire year so that they could go to Maui on holiday with their kids for their 25th anniversary. They lived frugally and practiced good stewardship and thus had money to do that.

From another angle, when we want to purchase something that will promote "play" in our family, we often wait a LONG time before we feel the time and/or price is right. We definitely don't just run out and buy the latest/greatest model, we always look for well used but well maintained items, including our family vehicles. And we always pay cash and have never incurred any debt in life beyond a mortgage, which praise God, we no longer have even that. So it's not an "I want, must have" type attitude, but things we are willing to wait for and even forego.

When we lived in town, we knew a boat would make the short prairie summers so much more enjoyable for us, and we invested in that. We didn't take any holidays, just went to nearby lakes on weekend days and came home in the evenings. It was and has continued to be a great investment for us, that $2000 divided over all the years of use we should get out of that boat equates to really cheap leisure expenses! I'm talking a weekend at a hotel or a boat for a summer....

Since moving to the farm we thought it would be fun to find an old snowmobile to play around with in the winter (dragging 4 kids UP tobogganing hills kind of detracts from the fun!). We looked around a bit but weren't too sure about prices and put that idea to sleep. Then toward the end of last season our neighbour bought a brand new snowmobile and offered us his old one (not too old either, and really even more than we were looking for but for LESS than we would have payed for something older and smaller). Because the price was so reasonable, and it was right next door, we decided it was a great gift for our family. Even cheaper than the boat, and gives us winter weekends of fun.

We've been married 12 years this spring. We decided that rather than go on a second honeymoon back in 06 we would use that money to buy a hot tub so that we could have relaxation and together time at our fingertips anytime. Also something we could share with friends and the kids, the gift that just keeps giving all around. Well, it's been two years and we are still not rushing to buy or set up that hot tub, but it is something that is in the "plans" and when the time/price is right we will probably do that too.

So little by little, one by one, CHOICES make it look like we have so much, and we DO have so much! We feel so blessed and lucky but I know a large part of the blessing is also interconnected to what careful spenders we are. We don't spend money on NEW clothes, unless we haven't been able to find what we need used first (a rare occurence, there is SO MUCH stuff floating around out there! and so many times I never even have to go and shop for things, they are GIVEN to us before I even get the chance to go shopping for them, that always amazes me how God provides in that way.) We have never wasted a penny on interest (except the mortgages on our first two homes). We made paying our mortgage off BEFORE spending money on "extra's" one of our first financial commitments. Raising our own meat, being very conscious about how many kilometers we put on the vehicles to not waste money uneccesarily on gas, making pizza at home rather than ordering in, tenting rather than Holiday Inn'ing.... so many ways every day we choose to be good stewards.

One last musing, that warmed my heart. The other day I was in the city and I was on a mission to get new sunglasses as the blinding white was giving me a glaring headache as I drove. I thought sunglasses would be one of those things that would be really hard to find used and was already putting up a mental fight over what to do. Go straight to Eyes Int. and be assured to find a GOOD pair that I like for $30-$50.00? Ouch. No can do. Go to a drugstore and buy a cheap pair for $10-$20.00? That would probably be the easiest. Or go around to the various Thrift stores and TRY to find a used pair, probably for a couple bucks? The price was appealing, the multiple stops not so much and the chance of finding something I liked miniscule (I thought).

Anyway, I stopped my brain in mid mental battle and just took it to God. Lord, I said. I'm going to such a such a location to make a drop off anyway, I am going to go in and look for a pair of sunglasses. It would be really nice if I could find a pair that I liked and then I could be wise with your money, and with my time. I'll leave it with you.

Well lo and behold I run into this store and there is a HUGE bin of sunglasses, and TWO identical pairs that I really liked. I only bought one but I thought it was interesting that there was TWO identical of the one I picked. And the price tag? 1.49 I was grinning as I stepped out of that store and on to my next stop.
Only I was kicking myself slightly that I hadn't said something about dress gloves because they had not a single pair in the store and those are on my list too. Ah well, I'll put that request in next time ;)

In closing, I feel like God has been reassuring me that we are not selfish and wasteful by spending some of His money on family fun. Indeed, I hope I am not misreading Him here, but I feel like in my heart He is reassuring me that we have been wise. I added up how much our "leisure possessions" are worth. I figured about $9,000 and all things that we could turn around and sell tomorrow and have that money back in God's bank account. So all these years of fun and family activity could actually be classified as FREE if you look it that way. And realizing the resale value of these items made me realize one last thing. I don't think God resents the fact that we "own" these things for a season, using them for our enjoyment and recognizing them as gifts. I think He only resents when the things start to own *us* and we see them as rights we have earned, and the fruit of our own labor.

Who Killed the Jerky?

This week the kids have been enjoying the first batch of venison jerky of the season. They love that stuff more than chocolate and candy. Not a bad thing! Prairie Son-shine I was just gnawing away at a strip when he queried;

"Mommy, right Daddy killed the Jerky?"

"The deer?" I ask as I fold my laundry.

"No. The Jerky."

Me: "Daddy killed the deer..."

Prairie Son-shine: "Well, who killed the Jerky?"

"What's a Jerky?" Yes, I'm one of those sadistic mothers who loves to turn their questions back on them.

Prairie Son-shine: silent for a contemplative moment. "Huh." he grunts. "I thought it was a Turkey."

I think in his head at that moment he connected the sequence of

Daddy skinned a buck
Daddy cut and ground meat from a buck
and Daddy made Jerky from the meat from the buck.

No Turkey was injured in the making of the Jerky.

Soldier on the Homefront

Sometimes I am plagued by nagging concerns or second guesses that our personal choices and priorities somehow make me less effective in the bigger picture of life and ministry. We choose to make it a priority to train our children *in* the home, to choose quality time over quantity of activity. As I watch others in their weekly busyness and variety of activity I sometimes wonder if I am less effective for the kingdom merely because I am less "out there" in the world. I don't run into lots of people walking my kids to school or taking my kids to skating, hockey or dance class. It's easy to think I might be missing some important opportunity in all that busyness for someone who needs a word of encouragement or exhortation.

I know this is silly. If someone has a need, God is going to orchestrate a way to meet it through one of His people, and that doesn't have to be me!!! At the same time, in being home, and being steady, I am a predictable place/person for people to approach in their time of need. I'm here to answer the phone when my neighbour calls, to take care of kids and needs when emergencies arise, to reply to those heart to heart emails, to have the coffee on and baking in the freezer for most any moment of any day a friend/neighbour calls. It amazes me how Satan can make me feel ineffective or "less" because I spend the majority of my time at home when actually this is what scripture exhorts a woman to do! This morning I was greatly encouraged by two different passages that confirmed and solidified my life choices and wiped away any guilt or fear that plagued me (for the moment at least, isn't it sad how quickly we forget?) regarding being a "lesser" person in the kingdom picture. The first one was is one I know by heart but the "good workers at home "; (also translated as keepers at home, busy in the home) especially stood out to me this morning.

"Then they can teach the young women (I still consider myself young ;-) ) to love their husbands and children, to be wise and pure, to be good workers at home, to be kind and to yield to their husbands." Titus 2:5

The second was in the kids bible reading this morning. It was the story of Deborah and Barak going off to fight Sisera in the book of Judges. Again, a familar passage to me, but I was literally speechless at the climax of the story as the facts surrounding Sisera's demise hit me in a whole new light. He took refuge in the tent of Jael, who was at home, alone tending to her daily duties. Home just happened to be the right place at the right time for God's purpose to be accomplished and Jael, a simple housewife, becomes an unlikely hero of the story. Quietly and effectively fighting the battle, within the confines of her humble abode. Her part in the story places her on par with Barak the mighty warrior who was out there on the battle field in full force with all of his troups and battle array.

That story thrilled me! Lord, use me today, where I am, to serve You as I go about the duties You have given me as a wife and mother, neighbour, friend and spiritual soldier.

Show Me the Money

Tim Challies quoted Augustine of Hippo in a recent post as having said; “I am the sort of man who writes because he has made progress, and who makes progress by writing.” I loved that. I can so relate. Not to the man part of course but to the habit of desiring to put my progress down in words, cementing it and progressing all the more in the process.

Finances are such a hot topic these days. How we save it, how we invest it, how much we earn, how much we spend, how much we can get back from the government.... the list goes on. We are part of a once a month bible study/accountability group called "Your Money Counts". I have found the concepts in this study revolutionary. I knew the verses individually, and if asked I would have affirmed agreement with them (obviously, how can I disagree with the Bible after all) but somehow they weren't clicking as a big picture, and my actions weren't affirming my belief which I suppose was not really a proper belief at all, as I had never truly considered the repurcussions of the big picture. The gist of the big picture is a simple list more or less as follows.

1. Everything we own belongs to.... God.
2. We are stewards of God's possessions.
3. God provides finances so our needs can be met.
4. God provides finances so that we can become partners in His plan to provide for the needs of others.

Okay, there is a lot more but I will stop there for now. There is alot to chew on in those four little sentences! First of all, do you notice the oxymoron in the fist sentence? Put quite simply, if our possessions belong to God, they are no longer OUR possessions. Yet somehow we tend to think that way. I would recognize that all I have comes from God, but at the same time, think of it as *mine*, almost like they belong to me because God gave them to me. There is truth there, but we have to be careful to understand the rest of the big picture. Why does God provide these things for us?

2. Being a steward is completely different from being an owner! A steward has authority and is responsible for his master's household/business. We are stewards, not owners of everything in our life. This means that while we have freedom and authority over our master's possessions we are also accountable to Him for how we manage the things He has entrusted to us. Wow. Second revolutionary bomb. If I recognize my position as one where I have to give account for how I spend the things he has entrusted me with (this includes time/gifts and not just finances), I can guarantee I am going to need to make some major choice changes!!! And I am already a frugal person who makes an issue to buy used and avoid marked up commercialism, but in reading this book I realize I still have a far way to go. Sometimes I'm just too lazy to go around looking for a specific item used, and will opt for the "convenience" of picking it up in the department store where I happen to be even though it may cost up to 10 times the price of the same item in the second hand store. Easier for me, and the money is there, but if I recognize it as my masters money I can guarantee I am going to go and look for the best deal I can on the item in question.

3. God does not give me possessions merely for my pleasure and personal advancement(notice that word merely). God shares His possessions with me so that *my* needs can be met and other needs in His kingdom can be met through me. Okay, so most of us tithe, and give to worthy causes, we understand that. But it's deeper than that. Don't we feel good about what we give, and then justified in spending the rest on what we *want*? After all, WE worked for this money, we gave some away, we have put some aside for wise saving. The rest should be there for our enjoyment, right? Hm. Really? I think God wants us to enjoy life, and within reason, I think if we are being truly self conscious with how we are managing His money He will not frown down on us for taking time outs and opportunities for leisure and relaxation that inevitably usually cost money. (I'm still hashing through this though, because there are SO many things we can do that don't cost, we just get conditioned to want more, and things that cost. Thinking of the quad, boat and snowmobile parked in the quonset in our case. Okay, yes, we bought them used at a fraction of the cost of new, but they are still costly leisures, when you compare them to bicycles, rubber dingies and toboggans ;-) which were plenty of fun for people before quads, motor boats and snowmobiles were invented). Anyway, the bomb here being that the rest of the money is not there for me to spend at my pleasure. It is not *my* money. It is not *my* right or my perogative. Mind boggling how off my attitude about money has been.

After chapter 4 the book provided a deed where we wrote down the possessions that we deeded over to God, signed, dated and witnessed. This was a practical way of handing over ownership of and authority over things that were always Gods in principle, but never truly recognized as such (not truly) by us. I even included our children on my list. Because although I recognize they belong to God, my concerns and yes, I'll admit it, fears regarding them so often don't reflect trust in God's control and sovreign care over their lives. It was such a freeing and amazing experience. It leaves no room for worry or obsession with things. The book quotes;

"After Jim Seneff went through the exercise of transferring ownership of everything he possessed to God, he bought a new car. It was just two days old when a young person drove into the side of it. Jim's first reaction was, "Well, God, I don't know why you want a dent in the side of Your new car, but You certainly have a big one!"

"Similarily, when John Wesley learned that his home had been destroyed by fire, he exclaimed, "The Lord's house burned. One less responsibility for me!".

Wow. What a release! My job is just to be the best steward I can be. Period. That alone is a huge responsibility but somehow, having all the other weights and responsibilities lifted over the "things" of life makes this responsibility seem almost a weightless one. Once again the opening words to "I wear your love" come to mind.

"The things I've collected, bought or selected, the clutter that fills up my rooms. I could lock up and leave it, never retrieve it, leave nothing but my love for you."

Oh Lord, help me be faithful with Your possessions. As I seek to purge the clutter from my life, and change ingrained materialistic habits may I be freed up to give more, serve more, be more.

On My Honor.

I'm not even sure I possess it, much less the surety to swear by it, but I have been reflecting on the concept of honor since my quiet time this morning. I was reading about the Gibeonite treachery found in Joshua 9, where they trick the Israelites into making a peace treaty with them by cleverly pretending they are from a far away land, rather than their next door neighbours. Trick obviously being the operative word that got my hackles raised and had me secretly rooting for justice and conquest on the part of the Israelites when they found out. Not so.

Despite the grumblings of the Israelites who like me were shouting "foul" and ready to go lop some heads (the treaty obviously wasn't *valid* if we were *tricked* into it!!!) Joshua humbly and wisely recognized that they had brought the present sticky situation upon themselves, and despite the treachery of the other party, it was time to eat some humble pie and rise to the occasion, with honor.

This is akin to torture to me!! It is my sinful nature to say "but... they.... that's.... look what they....." anything but "okay... I.... I'm.... what must I...."

I was very, very convicted by Joshua's attitude in this story. He recognized that the Gibeonites were not the only ones with marks against them. The Israelites questioned and tested the Gibeonites before making the treaty but failed to "ask the Lord what to do." As a result of that shortcoming, the Israelite leaders had the honor to not rack up extra demerits, but turn the tables and act with honor despite the treachery. Thus;

"The Israelites did not attack those cities, because they had made a promise to them before the Lord God of Israel." Josh 9:18

I fear that the magnificent art of honor has been largely ousted in our current age by the despicable idol of self justification. I think back to the times I have been affected by dishonesty. How easy to argue *my* case and *my* righteousness while I rant and rave on the other person's failure and treachery. What a shame. This low down whining and justifying leaves no space for me to recognize the situation as an opportunity for me to be a person of honor. I'm sorry it has taken me this long to see the opportunity for what it is, my prayer is that I will rise to the occasion the next time opportunity arises (which of course, I am not hoping will be soon :D ).

Comings and Goings

I got away on an overnight craft retreat with some girlfriends this weekend. The first time I have been away alone overnight since Prairie Girl was born almost 9 years ago. That's not a martyr-like comment, truly, I never wanted to be away overnight alone, and even this time, although I was hugely looking forward to two days of no responsibility and just "hangin'" with the girls and our scrapbook projects, the "going" was not easy! Whoever said "parting is such sweet sorrow" , well for me, sweet was rather absent from the occasion.

My dear friend and I both commented on the drive out how it was a bitter sweet experience though. The anticipation of "alone" time did not outweigh the "rock of parting" as we aptly named it, that sat in our chests as we drove away from our loved ones. I had a great time with my friends, and had a lot of fun scrapping, but we were very happy and light hearted when 9:00 rolled around the second evening and we started packing up the truck to head for home.

What a joy to come home to sleepy heads beaming blurry eyed smiles from their beds as I went to kiss them. All except The Rugrat who didn't stir from his heavy slumber. He delighted me the next morning with the familiar pitter patter of little slippered feet coming from his room to ours and three successive little good morning kisses on the back of my hand which was hanging over the side of the mattress. Ah, there is no greater joy.

I'll take the coming over the going anyday.

That's Not Fair... Or Is It?

I've always thought the story of Achan found in Joshua 7 was rather extreme. I mean, yeah, so the guy was tempted and kept some loot for himself, but really, was it worthy of the stoning of him and his entire family (gasp)! The family part especially always bothered me... I mean, heck... *they* didn't do it! God gently led me down a new trail of understanding as I read over this passage again this morning. He showed me that I was the one with the wrong understanding of fair and that in all truth, what happened was exactly fair. So here are my new thoughts on this passage.

First of all, I had never really noticed before the warning *prior* to the battle of Jericho. Here it is; "Don't take any of the things that are to be destroyed as an offering to the Lord. If you take them and bring them into our camp, you yourselves will be destroyed, and you will bring trouble to all of Israel." Josh 6:18

Okay, so as the story goes Achan coveted some of the rich possessions of Jericho, snuck off with them and buried them within his tent. As a result, the Lord removed His favor from Israel and did not fight on their behalf when they went up against the next city of Ai resulting in shamefaced defeat on the part of the Israelites. When Joshua cries out to the Lord asking for explanation, God says; "what did I warn you about taking loot for yourselves?" So the Lord reveals who the guilty party was, and upon Achan's confession, the loot is uncovered, and Achan is stoned together with his family.

Okay, so how is this fair? My humanistic mindset screams out for a second chance, for mercy, for grace. That's what a loving God is all about right? Hmmm. I can't help but convert this God Leads/People Obey philosophy over to a Parent Leads/Child Obeys philosophy. If I as a parent, give my child a warning, and a clear consequence, and my child consciously chooses to disobey my warning, by default, they choose the consequence. Achan had a warning. He had a consequence. His disobedience resulted in the death of many individuals at the battle of Ai. Thus how can I see the meting out of his just punishment as unfair? He chose to disobey, he chose to bring trouble on Israel and himself.

Wow. And I thought God was being unfair? It's me with my humanistic "oh come on, we're only human, cut us some slack, Lord!" mindset that is unfair! Okay, and it goes even deeper than that.

This "we're only human" attitude of mine does nothing less than mock God. How so? God does not require the impossible of us. He empowers us with His presence and Spirit. Thus, my "we're only human" is simply a copout and excuse to not be overly concerned about God's expectations. Wow. What an eye opener! My way of thinking was actually an abuse of God's grace and goodness. Like one of my children saying "Well, I know my parents love me, and don't like to be angry with me, so I'll just go ahead and ____________ and I'm sure they'll forgive me. And yes, God is always ready with forgiveness, as are we as parents. But the formula of forgiveness hinges on repentance and does not veto consequence. As Max Lucado puts it in the margin of my devotional bible "Every broken heart, every unwanted child, every war and tragedy can be traced back to our rebellion against God." Consequences.

Also, about his family. What's with that anyway? I mean, there are passages that teach that the son will not be responsible for his father's sin, right? That each person will be held accountable for his *own* actions. Okay, so what does that tell us? It tells me that his family must not have been punished for *his* sin. Isn't it funny how we assume scripture tells us *everything* about a certain story and then jump to conclusions? But scripture can not contradict scripture, so I am going to make the (what I deem safe) assumption that in some way his family was privvy to his actions, and thus became "accomplices". I mean, not likely that this guy could sneak this stuff off all by himself, get it into his family tent and buried without *someone* in his family being privvy. Or maybe he did but then was too excited to keep the stuff a secret, and gloated over what he had obtained to his family. We can't know, but we also can't make the assumption that his absolutely innocent family was stoned for actions they had no knowledge or part in.

So, who's not being fair? My meditations led me to recognize and extol the justness and perfection of the Almighty. He alone is perfect, but He promises to grow us to perfection through His son Jesus. So let's not shrink back and justify our "humanness", let's take up our armor and recognize that He has raised us up and given us authority to conquer every temptation through Christ's power living in us.

ETA: Following morning now, guess which words jump off the page in the first paragraph of the next chapter as God sends the Israelite army back to Ai? "Only this time, you may take all the wealth and keep it for yourselves." Wow. Which sounds better, the guilty pleasure of treasure looted in disobedience and kept hidden, or the abundant pleasure of treasure given freely from the hand of the Blesser? God is good.

Like Mother Like....Son

It's always a bit of a challenge to keep the younger kids occupied while the older kids are studying. Today Prairie Son-shine I (3) decided scrapbooking would be a good way to pass the time. By scrapbooking he basically had in mind using some of my scrap craft paper and my paper punch out stamps. I figured this was a permissable past time.

When I came through the dining room at one point he asked; "Mommy, when you scrapbook do you line your stuff up all nice in a row like me?"

"Um, no, not really."

"Oh, well, when I'm a Daddy, and I scrapbook, I'm going to line my stuff up nice in a row."

"Okay, son." said with a supressed grin as I carry on through to the kitchen. On my way back through he looks at me quizzically, eyes narrowed;

"Mommy.... do you think it's funny that I like scrapbooking?" Oh dear, I almost couldn't hold back the laughter.

"No son, I think it's cool." And left him with a *very* cool look on his face.

I Believe in Miracles

So today in Sunday school we took a little rabbit trail to discuss answered prayer and miracles. Okay, not the *I blow on you and you fall over in a faint* miracles, (although I don't doubt God's ability to make me fall over in a faint if He wants me to, not sure why he'd want to, but anyway, that's not what I'm talking about). I believe that when we pray, and believe, God is freed to do amazing things. And what I have come to believe is that God makes us part of His miracle, not to split the glory with us, but so that we can be personally and intimately privvy to it, and be all the more amazed by his grace and goodness.

On Friday The Hero had his 6 month post-op orthoptic appointment. His eyes are now *exactly* the same, with only a slight astigmatism in both. To think that just SIX short months ago we were in Vancouver awaiting major optical surgery. We had prayed (privately) for years for healing of The Hero's lymphangioma, and not seen any change. When we finally faced surgery, and the worry and concern that accompanies such a moment, we took our prayer requests public and so many people became part of our journey. Our entire church and network of family and friends prayed intensely for a successful surgery, for peace and strength, for little things like The Hero to not react violently to the anasthesia which had always been an issue with him.

Our miracle was not the healing of our boy's tumors, but the amazing, more than amazing precise answers to precise prayers that were prayed by our friends and loved ones standing in the gap for us during his surgery. We asked for prayer that we would be strong while he was put to sleep and during the surgery, one of our friends prayed for someone to be "there" for us, to keep us company during that time and God answered by sending a dear friend from our ship days with coffee and donuts right after our boy went into the operating room.

We asked for prayer that the 6-8 hour surgery would be as short and easy as possible. The surgery took just over TWO hours!!! The surgeon said there was no way it could have gone any better, that as he started extracting the first tumor the second tumor basically just "moved forward" into its place. I get tears in my eyes just recalling his comments. This meant that another major prayer could be answered. I hadn't even thought to pray that our son's skull wouldn't have to be cut open, I understood it was part of the surgery and neccessary to deal with the second and third tumor, but one of our dear friends prayed that his little skull would NOT need to be cut open. Praise God and thank you Brenda!

The third tumor, which was the one that was going to take the majority of time since it was at the back of the eye connected to optical nerves.... was so shrunk (the size of a sunflower seed) that it didn't even require extraction. This was phenomenal as in all the years our baby had been under monthly observation no shrinkage *ever* took place.

When The Hero came out of the anasthesia there was not a whine or a single motion of violence (believe me, freaking out and lots of violence were part and parcel of previous MRI's and CAT scans.) He just opened his one non bandaged eye and said, "I'm hungry."

Finally, we asked that the 3-5 day hospital stay would be as short as possible, and that healing and recovery would take place quickly and uneventfully. We were released from hospital the DAY AFTER surgery, took him in for a final check 4 days after surgery and were home FIVE days after surgery.

Wow. What an amazing experience for us of the power of prayer and God's inclusion of His people in what He does. May we never forget, how God included His people and our loved ones in our miracle, and may we become part of His miracles in other people's lives.

From the Mouths of Babes

So last night The Hero is "supposed" to be falling asleep in our bed while I was having my quiet time. Obviously "quiet time" denotes the idea of "no talking" and that just wasn't going to be a possibility with all that three year old energy in the room. I shushed him a number of times when he asked me silly questions like "how did the watermelons grow square?" in the picture in his Ripley's Believe it or Not book, etc. But after awhile I noticed he had laid the book aside and was just thinking (and squirming of course). A moment later he pipes up with;

"So if a person dies. And is dead. How can he still be alive?"

Ah nothing like a philosophical discussion on the doctrine of the immortal soul with my three year old. Gotta love it.


I was also priviledged to be privvy to an interesting theological debate between the girls. My ears perked up when I heard....

"Yes he does!"
"No he doesn't!"
"Yes he does!!"

"What's going on?" I interject in my best referee voice.

"Mommy, right God knows everything?" The Poppet asks with authority in her voice.
"Right." I reply.

"And right Jesus is God?" she continues.
"Right." I start to wonder where this is going....

"So then right, Jesus knows everything?"
"...Right." Seems logical....

"No he doesn't!" Prairie Girl interjects in a tone on the verge of tears.

Needless to say my mind was a complete blank. I had no idea why she could possibly take issue with this.

"Sweetheart... what on earth is the matter?"

"He doesn't know EVERYTHING. He doesn't know when God will send Him back."

You could have knocked me over with a feather.

I find it utterly heartwarming to know my kids are thinking about this kind of stuff on their beds. Oh Lord, let them never lose their passion for You and Your truth.

Little Houses

Okay, so our house is not exactly little but some of the rooms are bordering on miniscule, the main floor bathroom taking the cake.

Our bathroom is so small that......

two people can not brush their teeth at the same time unless one of them sits on the.... toilet.

you can not bend over (using your knees) to pick something up without being wedged (seriously wedged) between the vanity and the washing machine or the toilet and the dryer.

you can not bend over (not using your knees) without hitting your head on said washer or dryer, the wall, or the door.

really not sure how I am going to brush my teeth in the there when I am 9 months pregnant.

there's no room to kneel with a little person on a kiddy potty, so that must take place in the.... kitchen

delightful.

But really, joking aside, it is delightful. Pietro always says he doesn't know why we need more than 8 square feet of living space anyway, since wherever we are, we always all seem to be in the.... same 8 square feet of space :D Anyone remember the song "Little Houses"? Love it.

"Love grows best in little houses, fewer walls to separate
eat and sleep so close together, you can't help but communicate
If we had more room between us think of all we'd miss
Love grows best in houses just like.... this."

Who needs a sitting and a family room, a playroom and a study, a formal and a family eating area ;) I'll take my 8 square feet of shared space any day.

(but I still thank God for a handyman husband with plans to knock that bathroom wall out and give us 8 more square feet in that bathroom! :D)

Nocturnal Ponderings of a Three Year Old.

Driving in the van last night all was relatively quiet. The kids had had a long day with plenty of travel, play and exercise. I thought everyone was asleep when Prairie Son-shine I's three your old voice chimes up from the very back seat; "When Jesus gives me a new body will my food still be in my stomach?" The things that go through these little munchkins heads.

God Blessed the Broken Road

I set out on a narrow way many years ago
Hoping I would find true love along the broken road
But I got lost a time or two
Wiped my brow and kept pushing through
I couldn't see how every sign pointed straight to you

[Chorus:]
Every long lost dream led me to where you are
Others who broke my heart they were like Northern stars
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you

I think about the years I spent just passing through
I'd like to have the time I lost and give it back to you
But you just smile and take my hand
You've been there you understand
It's all part of a grander plan that is coming true

[Chorus]

Now I'm just rolling home
Into my lover's arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you

That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you

I Wear Your Love

Was culling my cd collection today and decided to give some oldies one last trial listen before packing them up for the Sally Anne. Was taken back listening to Kathy Mattea and Wynonna... man, it's been awhile! When "I wear your love" came on it was one of those "wait a minute" moments where I was moved to the point of having to dry my dishwater hands and run to back track it and crank the volume. The words touched me to my core, and I had butterflies in my stomach. Surely it's motherhood that has made this song meaningful to me in a way it never was. The song is clearly implying parental/unconditional love, and it moved me to want my children to feel this way. Not only about my love, but about their heavenly Father's. I know I couldn't help but think of Him as I listened as well. So beautiful, just had to share.

"The things I've collected, bought or selected
the clutter that fills up my rooms
I can lock up and leave it, never retrieve it,
leave nothing but my love for you.
Let the storm winds blow, I will not be cold....

Cause I wear your love
thrown over my shoulders like a blanket of down
I wear your love
like a bright suit of armor reflecting the sun.
On the chilliest night, though I travel light,
it is always enough, for I wear your love.

You watched without knowing, where I was going
trusting the vision I'd found.
If dreams were a fire, I had desire
that could burn this old house to the ground.
But I walk quite free, for surrounding me...

I wear your love
like the scarf that I borrowed that still holds your perfume.
I wear your love
pulled tight as I'm sleeping in the cold of this room.
On the chilliest night, though I travel light
it is always enough, for I wear your love.

Don't you know, can't you see
head to toe it is covering me
like a snow, the oceans tide.
Nothing can hurt me or turn me aside

For I wear your love
thrown over my shoulders like a blanket of down.
I wear your love
like a badge of devotion above and beyond.
On the chilliest night... though I travel light
it is always enough. For I wear your love."

Gary Burr (from the album Time Passes By by Kathy Mattea)

Vocational Aspirations

So Prairie Princess II (5) nforms me that I don't need to worry about missing her when she grows up and moves away because she is going to be a waitress and I can come to her restaurant every week with Daddy and she will serve us. So sweet. When I asked her what restaurant she would like to work at she animatedly informed me, "the slide place!" (Burger King). Ugh.... I'm hoping her vocational aspirations shoot higher with time, but worst case scenario I was holding out for a seafood or steak joint!

There's a Reason They're Called PRIVATES

Prairie Son-shine I (3)came down from his bath the other night in his birthday suit with a pullup in hand. I gave a mild gasp of alarm when he approached me with his male anatomy in the act of a purely masculine stunt. At my gasp he looks down and says "I KNOW! I don't know why it does that. There must be a bone in there!"

As my best friend said upon viewing her little guy in a similar state... "I hope he grows into that!"

Snips and Snails...

and puppy dog tails. The poem never forewarned spit in the fishbowl, cats in the composter, cats in the water trough, and cats being chased by a three year old with a numchuck. What's a gentle mommy to do? Confiscate said numchuck and gravely warn, "God is watching you!" Ah, maybe it's time to finish reading "Bringing up boys".....