Message IV from Mark’s series on The Peasant Princess transported us from the bliss and innocence of a honeymoon night, to the tragic end of a marriage where this beautiful girl became only the first of hundreds of women that Solomon loved. It talked about how his pride and sin tainted the marriage bed and the marital relationship and also exhorted married couples to strive to make the LAST day of marriage better than the first. It’s not about fairytale beginnings so much as it is about fairytale endings.
Now, entering into chapter 5, Mark brought to light the sins of the princess, and how that threw a wrench into the relationship very early on. The sin of selfishness.
“I hear my lover knocking. ‘Open to me, my darling…’ I have taken off my garment and don’t want to put it on again, I have washed my feet and don’t want to get them dirty again…” S of S 5:2-3
Where do I start? I am guilty of so much that was brought to light for me in this passage. Here, in stark contrast to the woman who used to stand at the door, anticipating the arrival of her beloved, we have a woman who has locked the door and gone to bed. A woman who when her husband knocks at the door calls out; “I’m not dressed…. I don’t want to get my feet dirty….. I’m already sleeping….you should have come sooner…how could you be so thoughtless… what were you thinking?”
The sin of selfishness. “I’m tired. I don’t feel like it. I need. I want. I don’t want…” Scales fell from my eyes in this one and I stood staring at my own black heart and feeling sick to my stomach. I have controlled, I have manipulated, I have denied, I have failed my husband in this area of giving him the key to his garden. I have been the holder of the key. I have decided when the timing is right. I have been the one to resist, or relent, or reschedule as per *my* feelings.
But there is so much more than just the sexual aspect. The text says, “my sister, my friend, my lover.” Three aspects of relationship are outlined there. The bond of faith, the bond of friendship, and the bond of romance. Each one of those bonds begs a priority standing in the life of one spouse in relation to the other. Prayer and fellowship, times of bonding, times of intimacy. I must be making these things and my relationship with my spouse a #2 priority in my life, second only to my own walk with God.
How often do I give the best of me to others? To my kids, to my friends, to my own needs or desires, and my husband comes when I can fit him in around that? So wrong. I have not been honoring him in the way I should. I have allowed my priorities to get out of line and I have treated this garden of my inner life as my own sanctuary, rather than his.
I repented at length and asked forgiveness from my husband for my blindness in this regard. I am not sure where to even start in changing my actions, but acknowledgement is a start, and I trust that God will light the path and help me to walk in it for his glory.
I think my first step will be to find a hefty old skeleton key, enclose it in a little velvet case, and present it to my husband with the words of S of S 4:16
“Let my lover enter the garden and eat its best fruits.”
And in order for that to happen, I will need to make a priority of reserving the firstfruits of who I am and who I hope to be, for him. I know that if I do, we will both flourish.
image credit: monaelissa
Listen to this sermon : Week 5 of The Peasant Princess
10 comments:
the vulnerable and repentant heart is such a thing of beauty- may this journey of discovering and cleansing be a path you travel together, hand in hand. Very probing thoughts... may need to download this and take it on a run with me... thanks for sharing your heart again.
wonderful post :-) i especially love the part about the ending being the fairy tale romance! i feel like thats true in my life.
Love the ending being the fairy tale part of your post! Very very true! Especially in todays world where it is sooooo common to have a sour ending. Great post:)
That key is the one that will unlock more than one door. I wonder if there is one of us who has not been guilty, in one degree or another, of this. We live in a society that screams just the opposite of the selfless love we are meant to have for our husbands.
I have found that the more I am willing to surrender the greater the blessing. We just can't give more to the Father than He will give to us. You will be blessed.
Thank you so much for sharing this.
Ouch.
Good points! Thanks for sharing through these posts! (I've even been better about spraying on perfume before my husband gets home--even bought a new bottle with a birthday gift card I had!).
I also wanted to stop by and say thanks for the tips you gave me on my blog about listening to music while cleaning up after dinner. It really helps (oh, and a nice glass of red wine) ;)
Hugs!
Cheryl
Nichole, you have hit the nail on the head again. Oh how I can relate - this contention between my wants and my responsibilities. It is especially hard for young moms with so many needs to meet all day and then, when you're exhausted and just want some "me" time, hubby comes in and wants his needs met as well. Pray for wisdom, for the ability to respond in a loving way and remember that when we give unselfishly to our spouse, we usually end up being far more blessed than if we stubbornly keep the door closed.
hey gal...wanted to point you over to Jenni's blog about the adoption of two little princesses...
http://onething.beautifulheritage.com/?p=4653
blessings, sister,
Sarah
Sweet Chick,
This is the best post that you've ever written.
And you've written some good ones.
I just wish that I had read something like this a long time ago.
Thank you for sharing your beautiful heart.
I love your Valentine's Day in pics post.
Sweet dreams.
His Peasant Princess series impacted me so much. He kept saying God said, "Go" last year when he said we needed to move back to his hometown. My boys kept asking, "Are we moving?" I kept saying, "God hasn't told me yet." Then I listened to one of his sermons about the freedom of Godly submission (not man-made submission). I was able to finally say, "Yes, we are going."
You did such a beautiful job with this part of the sermon. It's so true. What a gentle reminder to keep priorities straight!
Post a Comment