See that little post down there with the accented e? I don't even know how to do an accented e. That blog post is courtesty of my 2 year old pistol packer. Now how on earth......???
Moving on....
I just posted a "Keepin' it Real" type reply in the comments of my Winsome Wednesday post, and thought that in the interests of *really* keeping it real I would copy it into the general body of a new post, because it's not really "keepin' it real" if you hide it in the comments of an old post now is it?
Joy asked me... "Is your life always this beautiful?" My reply...
Ha ha ha, ho ho ho, Joy. No my life is not always this beautiful. I have crusty cereal on my lino and tomato sauce running down the front of my stove, and fruit flies invading my kitchen, and spit up running down the front of my shirt as we speak. But like I said this morning to my wonderful girlfriends at coffee time at Berry Girl's house... I work really hard to find the beauty in a sinkful of dirty dishes even though I KNOW I am gonna be enjoying a dishwasher TO THE MAX one of these days. But for now.... I take joy in the mundane so that I don't go insane. Hey, that's catchy. I like it. I'm such a card. I love life. I have to say it again, cause I was kind of intense the other day, forgive me everyone, but I really do love life. Life in general. Not just mine. I love that life is work, that we've never arrived, that we can work through stuff together, and grow. Closer to Him, and closer to one another. This is my prayer for all of my relationships, Lord... let it be so. Why I am going on and on like this in a comment that no one is probably going to read I have absolutely *no* idea, but it feels good anyway. sigh. Did I use the word insane up there? I just might be borderline.... don't leave me alone too long with my own thoughts, things get dangerous.
The other question was; "Do you carry your camera with you everywhere you go?" And my reply to that is, no, but when I'm *not* carrying it I usually regret it! I don't know, I just like to capture daily moments. It's like journaling to me, trapping a moment in time and bottling it up for future re-enjoyment. Although it's kind of funny because I'm usually so busy absorbing the current moment that I don't tend to have time to reflect on past ones, but it's an idiosyncrasy of mine anyway. Idiosyncrasies are like that aren't they?
Important. Please Read.
For the record, about Sunday's post. Have grace. I can tend to be a very abstract person and analytical, and passionate, and expressive, sometimes to my detriment (or the detriment of those around me). For the record, and I've shared this in private, but feel the need to do so in public, since the words were public (this is turning into a major run on sentence), that post stemmed from my analyzation of an abstract concept and a series of unconnected but similar situations that have occurred to me and numerous people in my life in recent months. I'm talking at least 5 isolated cases involving 5 different sets of people, one of them me.
It is a response to a common and broad, here's that word again, abstract discussion, and not meant to be directed to anyone in a personal way. If you took it personally, I sincerely, whole heartedly apologise and want you to know that this argument has been presented by 99% of the people who discuss homeschooling with us, so you are in a large majority, and if I was passionate it's because I am in a large minority, and it's hard to feel not heard or understood (or even cared about enough to be given the benefit of the doubt or even trivial interest in how we got here) sometimes. So it was completely about me "opening up my heart" in the hopes of being understood than it was a treatise against others who have used this statement .
Also, I want to make it very clear that in defending our choice (operative word here, it's a choice, there is no right or wrong), and our *personal* conviction that the best way for *us* to fulfill our mandate to train up our children is this path that we have chosen, I reiterate once again, or possibly more clearly that this does *not* mean that we secretly believe that people who don't homeschool are not obeying this same mandate. Or in any way are less passionate about raising kids to be salt and light than we are. Please understand this. My whole reason for writing the post was to express that "we care about this too", "we are passionate about this too!" not that "if you *really * care about being salt and light you would homeschool". Does that make sense? It has been brought to my attention that despite my deepest effort to *not* polarize the issue, it nonetheless could be construed that way.
This is so not my heart. And I want that to be very, very clear. My heart is that we (public schoolers and homeschoolers) understand, support, encourage and applaud one another in this journey of intentional parenting. Period. I need encouragement. I need understanding. I need support. Sometimes desperately. And I don't have it. If I express myself passionately it's a plea to be heard, to be understood, to be supported in this path we have chosen.
I have been given much grace, my heart overflows with grace, I seek consciously and determinedly to communicate with clarity and grace, but somehow, that abstract thought process part of my personality often throws a wrench in the works and makes people who view things from a more personal and emotional (rather than abstract and mental) approach feel... well I don't know how I they feel, cause I've never been there, but I'm guessing something like having been bombarded by a million tennis balls, or something. Is that what I do to people? Heaven forbid! I'm feeling terribly sheepish and insecure right now. I so want to be a sweet, loving encouraging person. I am a sweet, loving, and encouraging person, but I need to work on making sure that people of different personalities *feel* that. I'm a work in progress. Have grace. And I will have the same for all of you.
7 comments:
I honestly saw your grace in that post:) I saw you where perhaps hurt a little because of the love and passion you have for what you are doing with the education of your children:) It is hard not to sound strong when you are passionate and it is hard to be seen as aggressive when you just want to share something that you love about life. I have had more then a few of those moments lately and hear your passion and grace and didn't see anything else. I figured it was written about things larger then a comment from just one specific person and I hope you aren't being to hard on yourself. Bless yah for your passionate heart!
Amen, PC. We love ya and your passion! And I share it for the very same thing and always feel that you say what I'm thinking way better than I could. Thank you for that. :)
Thank you for following up on your Sunday post. I really did ponder it since your posts, while passionate, usually have a more gentle, tender tone. I wondered what had triggered it.
I will confess that it sucked the wind from my own lungs, though. Not at YOU, but at the same situation from the complete opposite position. We send our children to public schools but it is something we've prayed over in earnest every year. So far, God has in very certain ways indicated that this is where our children are to be. We continue to teach alongside what they are learning at school and to disciple them in the Bible and nuture their personal relationship with Christ. However, you would be surprised at the criticism we receive from fellow Christ followers who believe we are flippant in our decision, or worse, just don't care about where they are educated.
*Sigh* So, yes, I understand it -from the flip side!
Blessings!
Dawn, I am so chagrined. I think I just learned a new blogging lesson. Never post about something when you are in the eye of the storm, but wait till it's a matter of hindsight. >sigh<. I am *so* sorry, I posted in the eye of my storm where I was feeling misunderstood and criticized and alone and frustrated. I tried so hard to word things appropriately, but the pain in my spirit reflected through the words somehow. I was so caught up in defending *our* side of the story, that I didn't realize it might be construed as aggression to those in the other position. I was aggressively trying to dig myself out of a hole of frustration and you know what? That was the wrong time and place to do that. I should have turned to Him. I should have waited. I should have poured out my case to Him and received His support. I'm sorry. I'm thankful for HIs grace, and yours, and for the knowledge that yes, I'm a work in progress. Yes, I will blunder. It's part of the human dilemma, and that's okay, because He is grace. Forgive me?
I answered you by email so I won't repeat it again. Bottom line, no forgiveness is needed as no offense was taken!
Be blessed, my sweet sister in Christ!
PS - Just wait 'til he's older and see what he does to your blog. I've been hacked by my husband and my son!! And, I never know what my screen saver is going to be - it gets changed at everyone else's whim.
lol at the e :) I do it accidentally sometimes and could not figure it out for the longest time - something to do with my lazy typing and hitting two keys at the same time...
totally love you, love your heart.
Post a Comment