Isn't it funny (well not really, but proverbially speaking) how you fight so hard to be understood only to realize that in your zeal you have forgotten to make a very important qualification that kind of changes the way everything may or may not be received. In all of my posts explaining why we homeschool, why the arguments against homeschooling don't convince us, etc I just realized last night that I have completely forgotten to make a very important qualification. While I have stated repeatedly that I am not *anti* public school, I have never expressed the full truth of the matter, that we are actually *pro* public school. Everything I have shared has been our convictions on raising our *children*. There comes an age where *children* become young adults. And as such, everything changes. People don't stay disciples forever. There comes a point where they are ready to step out from under the wing of their teacher and start putting into practice what they have been taught.
In real life people have asked us if we intend to send our kids to school at some point and the answer is YES. Why? This is the funny part! Because many of the arguments that I am defending ourselves against HAVE MERIT AND ARE TRUE. It's all about timing for us. We don't believe that we need to send our 4, 6 or 9 year old children to school for these reasons. We WILL send our 16 year old child to school for these reasons. Maybe even our 15 year old. We don't think you can put an age on it, the teacher will know when the timing is right. Why 15 and not 5 you ask? We have likened it to the whole apprenticeship simile before. By the time our child is the age of 15 or 16 they are no longer an apprentice who works and learns under the careful tutelage and supervision of their master. There comes a day when the apprenticeship role has reached it's fulfillment and the apprentice is given more independence and more space to practice what they have learned independently from their teacher while still under their supervision. This is what high school looks like for us. The transition of a child from apprentice, to those years of indentured experience, preparing one in a new way to become their own master __________ (fill in the blank) in whatever path God has chosen for them as adults.
When I realized that I had never expressed this here, or forget to express it often in real life because I am so busy defending our choices for our little children I just groaned at my stupidity. It's funny to realize that if I add a 1 before my daughter's age I could (and will) heartily agree with some of the arguments people give me against homeschooling.
Interesting.
7 comments:
Amen!
I love your momma's heart.
Blessings upon your Thursday - I am thankful for you!
Dawn
Keep shareing:)
Interesting indeed, although I can't agree with you on this one. I have not ruled out the possibility of our children going to school at any point as I know that only God ordains our days and knows what is to come, I would have trouble thinking that high school would be the time to introduce them the "institution" of schooling. Even from a completely academic standpoint, I think high school is a waste of time. There will be plenty of opportunities for them to be salt and light when they are teens, I'm just not convinced that school is the best or even the most logical arena for this even if they are spiritually mature. I also think of : "Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things." (Phil. 4:8) Why would we not give them more protected time to be immersed in these things rather than sending them somewhere where they will be thrown right into it? I think especially of my boy and, last time I drove past a high school, there was very little loveliness, good repute, excellence, or praiseworthy things to be seen. Just sayin'...
so M4B.... this is new territory for us to be on different pages! >wink, wink<.... thought about what you said today, we talked as a family over supper. P-Guy and I both thought that those last couple years of school would be a good opportunity to put what we have taught our kids into practice before flying the coop completely. I mean, I think graduating high school would be good prep for college kwim?
P-guy was quick to say he would leave the choice up to the kids, and I agreed. We wouldn't force them to go. Surely they can find the same opportunities to spread their wings in other situations (jobs, social activities, friendships with people of different convictions/religions/backgrounds, etc).
The girls at this point adamantly insist that they will not go to school. ever. LOL! When asked why, and wouldn't they like to spend more time with other kids their ages, they said it was more fun spending time as a family and having kids over or visiting them together.
That surprised (and delighted) me. I didn't know they felt this way since all of our kids are insanely social. Every day I hear the common question "is anyone coming over? no? well, are we going to anyone's house? no? can we have so and so over for supper? Can we ride our bikes over to Joan's house (our fifty something neighbour)" and on and on it goes. We could have been running our tails off for days with social activities and they will never tire of it.
But they weren't willing to go to school for that reason. They said that wasn't a good enough reason to go to school and that yeah, they might get to spend more time with other people but they would spend less time with us. And that would suck. LOL!
Anyway, I could see it as a good stepping stone to full fledged independence and college, that's all. I mean baby steps before the big jump, kwim?
As much as I hated my highschool years (for reasons and struggles of my own) there is always light everywhere you go so just thought I would mention there is good in every school because there are good hearts there among the kids and the teachers. It all comes back to parent involvement even in the later years. I remember calling my mom from highschool and her always there to answer and talk, weither it was a nasty teacher, a bully, or just a sence of being lonely because I was one of very few Christian or weither it was tears over a bad mark (I put lots of pressure on myself in the education area in those years because I was so driven to look beyond highschools social mess) SHE WAS ALWAYS THERE:) I love MOMS! Bless you all today!
I appreciate where you're coming from on this. Living a stone's throw away from the university (and, incidentally, the Stone's Throw coffee shop...but I digress) I haven't really seen the need for that transition before college, I look more at college as that transition, make sense? I do get your angle on this.
If our children wanted to go to high school we would definitely discuss it. I don't homeschool out of a position of fear or a reaction against anything. Becoming aware of just how short our time really is with having these blessings in our home on a full-time basis, I guess.
We have that same social insanity in our house with at least two of mine asking on a daily basis if we are going anywhere or if anyone is coming over. I'd be quite happy to spend many days without anyone but the six of us, but they love to be with others. And that is so good for me, for them and, I hope, for others.
I just think that high school has changed a lot even since you and I were in our teens. Have you walked past the teen/young adult section at Chapters or another bookstore lately? WHOA!
I don't mind being on a different page than you once in a while. I think you are the bee's knees and I appreciate your thoughtfulness so much. Wish you were here, I could use a good heart to heart.
HUGS!
So M4B, I totally hear you on the "just how short our time with them really is" angle. But living an hour from the university I really don't see our ability to use that time as a transitioning time. It would be full blown "they're gone" thing. I mean, I'm sure they'd come home on weekends and stuff, but still. That's not the same as coming home every afternoon and still having that role of "supervisor" with them. Once they are in university I would think the "supervisor" tie would be cut and (hope) the "respected advisor at *their* discretion card would be put into play.
Totally thinking out loud here, nothing is really established in my mind... just thoughts. Bees knees indeed. email me your number, wanna talk real time.
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