Above All

The Spirit has been drawing me gently in the past few days to consider the greatest commandment. And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and soul, and mind and strength. It's funny how we go through stages where things come natural, and others are work, and then you wake to realize that maybe in concentrating on the things that need work, you have forgotten to uphold the thing that used to be second nature.

I remember when it was *work* to love my kids. Not just "love" them, love them. But LOVE them- with that sacrificial love that desired *their* best over my own. To love them with the kind of love that didn't resent loss of sleep but rather delighted in even a 3 am opportunity to nurture and serve them. To love them with the kind of love that didn't resent the loss of my *own* reading time, but delighted in the opportunity to crack open a book on *their* level and introduce them to new places and characters. To love them with the kind of love that didn't continuously and insanely feel the need for *me* time, *down* time, *quiet* time and personal space but delighted in being a woman surrounded by noise and activity, questions and comments, pats on the leg and tugs on the sleeve desiring my attention and my input (not to say this is not still work at times read many times, but you get what I'm driving at, right?).

Well, I realized that I was falling short in the love department, and set my chin to learn to die to self and love sacrificially and it is one of the greatest things I could have ever done, not only for them, but for my own peace and joy. Truly, learning to die to self brought me absolute joy in serving and killed the seed of self that constantly cried out to be watered and nurtured, above all.

I also remember when it used to be *real* work to love my neighbour. Not my literal neighbour. Not my friends and the people I already *like*... those people in the peripheral circles of my life who really, well, *grated* on me. I set to work to change that too, and once again, true joy and peace replaced negative qualities in my life.

Now, right now, I am realizing that while focusing on shortcomings like these were needy and good ambitions, I may have forgotten (or been slightly distracted from) the simplest and most important thing of all. Just loving Him. Okay, not *just* loving Him. LOVING Him. Above all.

I love Him. I think I try to love Him in many ways, every day. But somehow I get the idea that I have been loving Him through a screen. Loving Him through loving others, loving Him through appreciating His qualities and goodness and the THINGS He has done. I don't know if I can make this make sense, but I feel somehow He is urging me that while this is good and right, it is not, essentially, loving HIM.

Last night I was deeply impacted during family devotions. The New Testament story was about the rich young ruler. He sought to love God by obeying His commandments, and longed to have the assurance of eternal life. In essence, what Jesus told him was..... Love God, above all. Not just to the point of obedience, but to the point of sacrfice. And the rich young ruler went away sad, because he loved his riches. He loved the Lord who had given him riches, but not..... above all.

Then, the Old Testament story was about Abraham and Isaac. Abraham. Do you love Me.... above all? Above the promises I have made, above the love for the son I have given you? Yes, Abraham loved to the point of sacrifice of all he held dear. To the point of laying his beloved on the altar and taking up the knife that would kill his flesh and blood but not his hope and trust in Jehovah Jireh, the One who had and would provide.

And Isaac. He was not ignorant of what was taking place. Do you love Me above all? Above life, above future dreams, above fears and hopes and earthly desire? Yes. Isaac did not struggle or hold back. He went willingly to the altar on a barren hill in the wilderness, loving God, above all.

Same hill, now overlooking a bustling Jerusalem. A cross. A Savior. A Father who loved us that much. A Savior who sacrificed Himself. My heart trembles. My eyes well up with tears as I think of the cost, the love, the depth of sacrifice.

I look at my own little babe. Resting here so peacefully in my lap. The perfection of this little head and face, the warmth of this little body. He is a gift, I am meant to love him this much. But I am meant to love the one who made him, who gave him, who has called him, above all.

Lord, it is my heart's desire to love you above all, today and always.