If Life Is a Highway....

Warning. Verbal spillage (and electric guitar) ahead. Proceed with caution. Don't say I didn't warn you.

Okay, I'm only two days into this journey of peace, and immersing myself in the key to my new road map. Ironically, if you are a naturally peaceful person, you probably will find this post rather preposterous, but this is how I process things. So... if you feel up for a verbal roller coaster ride... snap on your belts and hold on tight, cause here I go... (I promise to make ammends with pictures and relative silence for a week after this, you know me, I spill, then I chill.)

In my fresh pursuit of a peaceful existence, my radar is becoming finely attuned to the things that (I allow to)*rob* me of peace. The first thing that has come to my attention is the fact that I am indeed my own worst enemy. I am all over the place. I am in so many places (physically, mentally, emotionally) in any given moment that in one fixed nanosecond I am divided into umpteen different structurally weakened segments. The result is that my effectiveness is only a fraction of what it could be if the whole of me were devoted to the task at hand. (Are your eyes glazing over yet? I tried to edit it to make it more readable, but it's beyond help.)

The above observation is noteworthy, but it is not the clincher. Remember, I'm talking about peace here, not productivity. If my productivity suffers it is equally true that any enjoyment, fulfillment or satisfaction derived from the factioned moment holds only a sliver of it's potential. Because only a small part, if any, of me is attuned to receiving it.

I've been contemplating what it really means to "live in the moment". You know that verse "Whatever your hand finds to do...." well... it really boils down to that. I am not fully devoted to the current task (what my hand has found to do) if my brain and emotions are occupied elsewhere. The more conscious I become of how "divided" I am in my persona in any given situation the more I am realizing how exhausting or just unfulfilling things become.

I could give you a million examples. Not fully savoring the flavor of a slice of toast with a freshly poached egg because I am gulping it down in between clearing the counters and putting dishes away. Not enjoying the peace that comes from putting a room in order because my brain is flying a million miles an hour contemplating my latest brain trip. Not being productive in any given situation because I am trying to be productive in too many situations at once. You get the idea. It's an empty act of accomplishment because I am not attuned to the moment.

And the answer is so simple. Live. the. moment. Allow myself, indeed require myself, to live fully devoted to the present moment as much as it depends on me. Granted, life is full of distractions, of intersections, of stop lights and honking horns. Obviously, if a child needs me in a moment, then that child will take precedence and become the new moment. The concept of living in the moment is not static, but fluid, one moment flowing into another, but the individual moments themselves do not meld. whoa, now that's a trip. P-guy would be running to the shop at this point and locking the door behind him. Okay, maybe if I try to illustrate. I love to illustrate. With words of course. I couldn't draw a REAL picture if my life depended on it.

If life is a highway (sing it now)... I'm truckin' along in the lane of this "moment" when another "moment" presents itself in my rear view mirror, flying up the on ramp, gaining speed, converging on my present position. As it approaches, I have a choice to make. Should I yield and allow this new "moment" to take the lead? Or should I just maintain my current speed and make that other "moment" fall in behind? Those are my choices if I want to be a diligent driver. Either I let him take precedence, or I make him fall in behind. I don't move over and give him half of my lane. Merging is not melding. MELDING would be a collision which will post a threat for BOTH moments.

Am I insane? (yes, asserts P-guy). Quite possibly. But I am discovering great peace and contentment in coming to grips with this and consciously choosing which moment to be (fully immersed) in. It equates to being fully devoted (body, mind, emotions) to the person I'm speaking to. Fully absorbed in the task at hand. Fully rewarded by the results of what I am presently doing. But don't I still need to change lanes a million times a day? What difference does it really make? Doesn't this all boil down to a bunch of philosophical gobbledy gook? Quite possibly. But I'm thinking that the idea of switching lanes a million times a day is a far more relaxing ride than trying to share one narrow lane between 10 vehicles hurtlin' up the highway at 90 miles an hour. What say you?

Interesting fact? In Rome (and other insane cities in Italy) there are no assigned lanes. You can be driving along in what appears to be a lane with a car ahead of you and one behind you, 2 "lanes" to your right, and one on your left, when all of a sudden there is NO car in front of you, and you now have THREE lanes on your right and TWO on your left. Seriously, I kid you not. It's insane. The lanes are absolutely fluid and are constantly converging and splitting, wandering...forming and then disbanding. I could. not. drive. there. and yet, that is how I often manage my life. Go figure. And incidentally, this music has to be insanely non-peaceful, but it's also incredibly fun. Humor me for just one day...*wink*.