Next time you make a cheesecake, don't leave it out on the counter within reach of an unsupervised two year old. That is unless you want to return to find plenty of Oreo crumbs all over the floor, a sticky faced boy and a rather empty cake plate.
Next time you pull the flat of eggs out from the top shelf of the refrigerator, ensure that it is not going to catch on the light module and smash half a row of eggs in the process.
Don't leave your two year old unsupervised while said eggs are on the counter if you don't want to come into the kitchen to find him playing soccer and slip n' slide with eggs on the lino.
Keep buying those double flats of eggs from Costco... it will ensure you still have eggs to spare on days like this.
Avoid putting your compost into an ice cream pail without a handle. Avoid attempting to pick up said (full) ice cream pail by the rim with wet hands. I guarantee that the mess that ensues is *not* going to make you smile.
Go right ahead and let that sweet little 5 month old sleep between you and your beloved after his 4 am feeding, but be sure to stuff a pillow into the headboard above his head to prevent him from pushing himself in between the wrought iron rails and waist deep down between the mattress and the wall.
Make sure your hands are dry (again???) before attempting to grab the two year old's potty, and don't shrink from it girl.... grab it firmly and be bold. Believe me, the result of not having a firm grip is far worse than anything you can imagine.
Next time your 2 year old comes to your room and says "poop mommy" at 7:45 in the morning, please choose to kiss those last 15 minutes of sleep goodbye. They are just not worth the experience of waking up to a full pullup 15 minutes later.
Be sure to not leave your mug full of hot coffee within elbow reach of your four year old student and nestled among numerous piles of books.
Don't allow your 6 year old to prop your five month old just fed baby up among same said books before he has been properly burped. Seriously folks, coffee and projectile puke do not mix well with workbooks.
Just in case any of you thought my life was all peaches and roses. This is living proof that there's a lot of poop and puke and other not so delightful moments mixed up in there too. But somehow, they contribute to the beauty... *don't* ask me how.
Next time you pull the flat of eggs out from the top shelf of the refrigerator, ensure that it is not going to catch on the light module and smash half a row of eggs in the process.
Don't leave your two year old unsupervised while said eggs are on the counter if you don't want to come into the kitchen to find him playing soccer and slip n' slide with eggs on the lino.
Keep buying those double flats of eggs from Costco... it will ensure you still have eggs to spare on days like this.
Avoid putting your compost into an ice cream pail without a handle. Avoid attempting to pick up said (full) ice cream pail by the rim with wet hands. I guarantee that the mess that ensues is *not* going to make you smile.
Go right ahead and let that sweet little 5 month old sleep between you and your beloved after his 4 am feeding, but be sure to stuff a pillow into the headboard above his head to prevent him from pushing himself in between the wrought iron rails and waist deep down between the mattress and the wall.
Make sure your hands are dry (again???) before attempting to grab the two year old's potty, and don't shrink from it girl.... grab it firmly and be bold. Believe me, the result of not having a firm grip is far worse than anything you can imagine.
Next time your 2 year old comes to your room and says "poop mommy" at 7:45 in the morning, please choose to kiss those last 15 minutes of sleep goodbye. They are just not worth the experience of waking up to a full pullup 15 minutes later.
Be sure to not leave your mug full of hot coffee within elbow reach of your four year old student and nestled among numerous piles of books.
Don't allow your 6 year old to prop your five month old just fed baby up among same said books before he has been properly burped. Seriously folks, coffee and projectile puke do not mix well with workbooks.
Just in case any of you thought my life was all peaches and roses. This is living proof that there's a lot of poop and puke and other not so delightful moments mixed up in there too. But somehow, they contribute to the beauty... *don't* ask me how.
20 comments:
Oh, to be young again! Cherish every moment even the ones you mentioned, that stage of your life will be gone before you know it. But don't get me wrong - I love "most everything" of the stage I'm in now.
Prairie Grandma
LOL, my world too! Love the way you put it all together though. I had that day yesteday and thankfully today is going well enough I can chuckle about yesterday. Have a fab weekend!
Oh, my...
I do hope these events were spaced out over at least a month? A week? Please tell me it didn't all happen in the span of 24 hours or less???
At least you've kept your sense of humor about it. Right? ;-)
Blessings, my friend!
oh...my..goodness!!! Wow..those little ones sure got you cleaning up after a lot of little messes! You made me chuckle!!
yeeesh... my sympathies and 4L of bleach go out to you at this time. (will we REALLY look back on these time and laugh? REALLY?) (whatever, I don't believe you)
Hoping your day improves and omits any other bodily emissions. Praying for blessings of love and health poured abundantly from our Father who LOVES to give good gifts.
ha ha! You guys crack me up.
~Prairie Grandma. (I just love it when you pop in here) it's encouraging to know that those "obscure childless years" (to us with all these busy little bodies underfoot) are full of their own joys and enjoyment. Sometimes I wonder what on earth I will do with myself, but I'm sure I'll be livin' it up in one way or another.
~Dawn, no thankfully not all in the space of 24 hours, but everything but the cheesecake *did* happen this week, and the coffee, eggy slip n' slide and puke episodes were all in the space of mere minutes, and I'm not exaggerating when I say in the space of THREE minutes. Go figure.
~Linda, if only it were just the little ones making the mess, it would be rather understandable. Sadly, I have contributed to more disasters around here lately than they have. ;-)
Chris dear friend (you totally crack me up), a girl can never have too much bleach... or can she? (Recalling 8 gallons of bleach on my front porch not to long ago, and this from the anti-bleach/go green wannabe.... ).
oh my goodness gracious, I am laughing SO HARD right now!!!! That's just what I needed on this cold rainy night!!!
ps. - don't make dessert tonight...
I needed that laugh...thank you! And thank you for your *SWEET* comment on our blog. We've been sick, down & out lately, but it was such a blessing to hear from you...needed that hug!! :) Thanks for the giggles, too.
ROFLOL - oh dear! I'm with Chris - they all said I'd forget the pain of childbirth too but let me tell you, I can still CLEARLY remember the pain of Berry Boy's head being lodged in my pelvis for 3 hours, and then the UNBELIEVABLE pain when it finally came out...
so glad this was not all in one day, however 3 things in the space of 3min! yeesh.
Big smile here. I really do remember those days well. I had the same thought as Dawn - hoping all those things didn't happen within one 24 hour period.
They are all the stuff of life - and I'm so glad you could write about them with such sweet good humor. One day all will be quiet and neat - and you'll miss these days. Honest.
LOL! Almost every one of these has happened in our house. Believe it or not, you'll look back on those things fondly some day and say, "Remember when..."
Good lord, though! I have to be more careful reading. I read "Make sure your hands are dry (again???) before attempting to grab the two year old's potty, and don't drink from it girl." That one made me gasp, then shudder, then finally chuckle when I reread it and realized my mistake:o)
OH my this was one of the funniest posts I have read in a while. I have 3 boys so I can totally relate to the notes to self!!
Thanks for letting me know I am not the only one out there that has those days!!
Your so funny!
And what you said over at THAT fam..it was very well worded and not in the least wrong to share.
IMHO :D
Soooo funny, soooo true! Can I be a Grammy type person and tell you the baby and the mattress and the headboard SCARED me to death. Sorry! Grammies have to say those things. I once had a slop bucket slip from my hands and land on a cement floor just as I was reaching down for it, it came up to meet me...as in a face full of slop. Really bad part was I was a teenager at church camp and others SAW this. How awful! Let me also add that a pull up full of poop is maybe better than one taken off and used as an art project. You get the picture (O:
I call these "Pam" days after a friend of mine...when several "random" events occur within a short period of time, that make us either 1. cry, depending on how tired we are or 2. laugh along with God and give Him a sacrifice of praise in the moment....I long to always do number 2, but often opt for number 3. which is get cranky and blow it only to repent later...
spirit is willing but the flesh is weak...smile....
oh my goodness. My email wasn't receiving and I missed the whole second batch of comments on this post. I am laughing so hard I have tears coming down my cheeks. These comments are hi.lar.i.ous. I so needed this today. Thanks all, I *love* you guys.
Hi there! I was just putting together this week's next Random Acts of Poetry and found your comment on our first post.
If you'd like the chance to possibly be featured sometime, you'd actually have to be part of the network and add the High Calling blogs badge to your site.
Or you can just keep popping in and sharing the celebration. We'd like that too. : )
Thanks for sharing your "normal" life with us!! Days like that make our really normal days so wonderful don't they... but then days like that are the ones we will remember and look back on and laugh and tell stories about...
and I have to say, I am glad you did not get pictures of some of those things!!
Blessings!
you said, "but be sure to stuff a pillow into the headboard above his head to prevent him from pushing himself in between the wrought iron rails and waist deep down between the mattress and the wall."
I am so glad you wrote that. For years I have hidden the secret guilt I had for allowing this very thing happen to my now 27 yo when he was a mere babe.
I feel so much lighter. **watching the guilt float away~~~~~** :oD
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