At Your Service

Did you know that in the days of Montgomery Ward, when he was still alive and managing  his flourishing mail order catalog business he would get all manners of personal letters asking things such as;

“how does one go about finding a baby to adopt?”

“Will you buy our second hand furniture or livestock?”

“Can you help us find our son who has run away from home?”

“How do I handle my disobedient children?”

Just as the colonial tobacco planter might ask his London agent to send him whatever he needed, now the lonely farmer wrote in to Ward’s.  One customer wrote;

“Please send me a good wife.  She must be a good housekeeper and able to do all household duty.  She must be 5 feet 6 inches in height.  Weight 150 lbs.  Black hair and brown eyes, either fair or dark.  I am 45 years old, six feet, am considered a good looking man.  I have black hair and blue eyes.  I own quite a lot of stock and land.  I am tired of living a bachelor life and wish to lead a better life and more favorable.  Please write and let me know what you can do for me.”

Ward’s answered that it was not a good idea to select a wife by mail.  “After you get the wife and you find that she needs some wearing apparel or household goods,” Ward’s added “we feel sure we could serve both you and her to good advantage” 

Others wrote merely because they were lonely and had nobody else to write to.  Some felt that Ward’s would be disappointed at not hearing from them.  “I suppose you wonder why we haven’t ordered anything from you since the Fall.  Well, the cow kicked my arm and broke it, and besides my wife was sick and there was the doctor’s bill.  But now, thank God, that is paid and we are all well again, and we have a fine new baby boy, and please send lush bonnet number 29d-8077

This customer received a friendly reply.  Ward’s said they were sorry about his arm, glad that his wife was better, and sent congratulations on the  son with hopes he would grow up to be a fine man.  The order for the bonnet was acknowledged.  Then, finally, Ward’s asked whether the customer had noticed that there was an anti-cow-kicker for sale in the catalog.