I had another one of those Mack Truck moments, and as always, it was not the pleasantest of experiences. It shook me (read woke me) up and got me thinking. I'm still rather *uncomfortable* with these new to me thoughts and as always, I feel I need to shake them out, examine them closely and iron out the wrinkles before I will feel free to fold them up and shelve them accordingly in this mental database otherwise known as my brain. Sometimes just putting it down in black and white speeds this process.
Prairie Guy went on a father/son fishing trip with good friends on Father's Day weekend. He had a great time and caught a whackload of fish and made lifelong memories with our firstborn son (4). As he recounted different sagas and tales of the weekend to me, he suddenly asked; "Did you know that ***** (a christian friend) was a smoker?" I was rather taken aback as no, I did not know that he was. The surprise I felt in finding this out, (I feel quite close to the person in question, even though we only see each other periodically and don't live in the same community, we have come to feel they are "family") got me thinking. It was a strange kind of surprise. Tainted with disappointment maybe? Betrayal? Could that possibly be a hint of underlying judgementalism? I wasn't sure, it wasn't blatant, but it was a feeling I wanted to explore and be honest with myself about. Did I look down on (or maybe I would better express it by saying "look a little less up to?)" this person as a result of this new found knowledge? The next time I was talking to HIM, I broached the subject.
The conversation went something like this; (now please understand, I'm not saying He talks to me audibly or anything, this is the way my thoughts progressed, and I just *know* in my spirit when He is "talking back", because those answering thoughts lead me to places I wouldn't wander into on my own accord. Good, stretching, higher places. Hope that makes sense. )
"I'm disappointed in ***** on account of this new found knowledge" Me, with a furrowed brow.
"Oh? Why is that?"
"I wouldn't have expected it of him."
"You wouldn't have expected.....?"
"This weakness."
"What weakness?"
"Well, you know... *smoking*."
"Why is that a weakness?"
"Huh? Because it's not good for you. And our bodies are Your temple and all that...."
"I see."
Uncomfortable moment of silence.
"What....? Am I not right?"
"Oh no, I'm not saying that. You're right."
"Well.... what then?"
Still no comment. I swallow determinedly and continue digging;
"It shows a lack of discipline. Lack of self control. Lack of wise stewardship of the body and all that"
"Uh-huh."
Silence. Quite a long silence really. And that's when the headlights came on and I saw that Mack Truck barrelling down on me.
"And you?"
"Me, Lord?"
"Yes you."
"What do you mean?"
"What about that coffee that is such a coveted part of your daily routine? Is that *good* for you? Are you self controlled enough to kick it even though you *know* it's not healthy? And the plastic (read margarine) you spread on all that cardboard (read refined flour products) you eat. You *know* so much of the store bought garbage you eat is downright bad for you.... do you quit? And how about the chemicals you have doused and spread on yourself and in your home and continue to do so out of mere "laziness" at times even after making the switch to "eco-green"? The Pepsi.... dare I mention the Pepsi?"
Silence accompanied by a deer in the headlights look from me.
"Wow. Lord. I never really *saw* it til now."
"M-hm. "
Shamefaced; "You're right, Lord."
"M-hm."
Contined, rather shocked silence as the weight of this continues to sink in.
"So.....?" (Him)
"So....." (me)
I get the funny feeling He's smiling
"I get it, Lord."
"I knew you would."
And the moral of the story is... never look down on your neighbour in his weakness unless you are ready to be confronted with your own and realize that indeed, we are all equal. We are all weak, but He is strong. Am I willing to give up the coffee and Pepsi? That is a painful question. One I need to face. But this week, I am going to be raw and real with myself about the tendency I have to be noticing specks when I need to be dealing with logs.
Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that you may be healed. James 5:16
13 comments:
Great post. Isn't God kind that we may go to Him in this way? And truly be answered with a holy understanding?
My hubby and I are in the midst of a similar situation right now - one that began by desiring to confront the sin we saw in another family members life, yet in the process, being mightily whacked over the head with our own (all too similar) sin (by a divine two-by-four, perhaps?).
It is truly God's mercy that He is sovereign even over sin in this way - always even using these "ugly" things in our own hearts to teach us and work in us for our good and His glory. Aren't you just amazed by the divine intentions in ALL things? I mean, smoking, on a fishing trip - Who would have thought *that* could mold you into a more Christ-like character?!:)
But indeed, it did. *HE* is at work!
Praise Him for His work in your heart and your life - and the lives of those around you! Thanks for sharing your struggles; transparency is *truly* transformative.
Good morning Mrs.Prairie,
...All I can humbly say is..THANK YOU! Along with, thank you God for using my prairie "blog" friend to silence me...and cause me to search my heart...hey, weather it is cigs,coffee, soda....on & on the list could go...lets be slow to---even think our opinion, before we look in the mirror!(& our hearts) Have a wonderful day and keep up the sharing...blessings
Let's go from Momma of 8 from the small town to---
Momma of 8 (smile)
Wow! Great post! It is amazing how a simple conversation can wind up giving us convictions over our own lives. Keep it coming!
I too have been encountering situations that have caused me to struggle through the issue of judgement, compassion, self-confrontation, encouragement of others. This is such a complex topic! We are called to encourage one another and 'sharpen' each other, yet always be humble and loving and aware of our own 'logs' in the eye. Recently God convicted me to trust Him more with other people's sanctification, and pray earnestly for others, as well as for humility for myself. To be less concerned and worried about others and more concerned about my own need for His grace and growth.
It hurts to be a disapointment to others... I guess if we can love others more graceously we can have that same blessing given to us when we will need it... Thank the Lord for GRACEOUS people:) and thanks for sharing friend!
Funny...I just had a similar conversation with a friend I was "upholding" in accountability last night, and while doing so was reminded to include myself in the equation too, as it wasn't just her who needed reminding...
And here you are this morning just confirming that again. I marvel how cool it is and how He works to bring home a point to us, when and where we least expect it!
Pruning for better growth,is a little painful at times, but the tree it produces in the end is more fruitful for it!
And THATS why I love your blog. Such truth. Thanks for keeping us all humble, as you learn that yourself! Okay, I admit, the cute baby is also a draw!
What a great post, thank you for your transparency and your willingness to share what God is teaching and showing you.
I have had to do some hard stuff this week, basically had to chose between my Lord and some loved ones, I had to be obedient to the Word and to my Lord, in spite of the heartache it caused me and others, all because of sin that a loved one thinks the Lord is ok with...
This has made me really do some soul searching and sit before the Lord and let Him examine me and show me what He wants to remove from my life and work on in me... I do not want to be hypocritical, I want to serve and honor my Lord,I want to live a life of no compromise and no apologies, I have chosen to obey Him even when it is hard and it breaks my heart and the hearts of others, for He is so very worth it, but it is still hard.
Maybe one day I can share more specific details, but as it involves a family members sin and not my own I do not feel at liberty to share the specifics...
Have a wonderful weekend!
Ladies, I'm blessed by your sharing. It's comforting to feel understood and to understand. It's exciting to see God working in others, and in myself. It's motivating to know one is not alone in one's struggles and pitfalls.
I am also trying to hash through what it means to "recognize sin", "be iron", and "stand for truth" all while not trespassing Romans 15. I'm guessing it involves stating one's heart without pointing fingers, possibly using the first person rather than the second... and praying more than talking. Tough stuff.
Sav, I love the "divine two by four", He knows how to wield it doesn't He?
Candace, yes it really is complex isn't it??? We are struggling with similar situations in various relationships. I have also felt God telling me to trust Him with other people's sanctification. Romans 15 really hits home there. He is the one who will convict of sin, so prayer is key, I agree. (Welcome btw, I think this might be our first interaction?)
Becky, what you said really touched me. Grace. I want so much to be a gracious person. He is Grace... it's the greatest gift He could give, and I don't know why as believers we feel more called to "judge" and "call" sin, than pray in the spirit and extend grace in the flesh.
Tricia, I'm sorry you are in that spot. It takes so much courage and strength and is exhausting. May His peace give you the strength to get through and not lose heart.
I am just now getting a chance to leave a comment, it has been busy around here. I feel exactly the same way about smoking, drinking etc... I even have a hard time understanding why people don't see the need to homeschool. :-)
It is so hard to think that God looks at all sin the same. In my eyes some sins are way worse than others. I guess it is because He is so holy that our "righteousness is as filthy rags". I think I quoted that correctly.? You are correct to say that all we can do is pray and let Him do the convicting and judging. And while we are at it, we could say a prayer that he would show us an area we need to improve at.
I appreciate your open and honest blog, it is nice to meet other Christian women and travel this journey together.
AMEN! :)
And THIS kind of post is exactly why I need to be around you and pick your brain and just enjoy some likeminded fellowship. Say...hmmm...Saturday, perhaps?
Can't wait to meet that new wee babe and the rest of your kids. Judgment is such a tough one for me. I read Erwin Lutzer's "Who Are You to Judge?" this spring and found it fascinating. An ongoing struggle for me is knowing what is unfair judgment and knowing when to confront sin in a fellow believer's life...
Love this blog of yours!
Fabulous. Eye-opening. Humbling. Thank you.
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