My Notes; Family Driven Faith, Chapter One.

1. "According to researchers, between 70-88 percent of christian teens are leaving the church by their second year in college. That's right, modern American Christianity has a failure rate somewhere around eight (almost nine) out of ten when it comes to raising children who continue in the faith. Imagine the alarm if nearly 90 percent of our children couldn't read when they left high school."

Okay, first underlined paragraph out of the starting gate and I am already pulling back on the reins. We shall see how he expands on this later but my immediate thought was, Hold up there buddy. Leaving off church attendance does not automatically equate to abandoning ones faith. I do believe that if someone is grounded and mature in their faith they will not abandon the church, no matter how disillusioned or hurt or ticked off they get with it, but for those who *do* abandon church, or have temporarily abandoned it, it most certainly can not be said they have abandoned the faith. It is an indicator of spiritual gout for sure, but not spiritual death. I think the church has a lot of growing up to do, and Satan and his demons named Disillusionment, Discouragement and Critical Spirit, are all having a heyday in the lives of many believers when it comes to thier attitude toward church. Ultimately, the church is His body, so abandoning it, is in a sense cutting yourself off from His fullness. But I wouldn't go so far as to equate church attendance with faith.

Now that, in and of itself is a BIG rabbit trail. And I don't want to draw the focus away from the premise of the book that I agree with wholeheartedly. Spiritual discipleship is the responsibility of the parents, and as our kids are torn between so many different people of influence, parents, teachers, church leadership, peers, alot seems to be falling through the cracks. If we are not teaching our kids that the church screws up because it is made up of screwed up humans... well, of course they are going to get disillusioned and discouraged and fed up when they grow up and have to face it head on. If we are not teaching them the principles of commitment, patience, unconditional love, intercession in regards to their role in the body of Christ, we are doing them the biggest disservice imaginable. I'm afraid far too many families think they are discipling their kids by driving them to sunday school and kids club, and youth group once a week. By praying at meals, or before bed and by talking to them about communion and baptism when the time seems ripe. Those are a couple specks of sand in the ocean of discipleship.

2. "While US teens are very religious, their religion is largely ambiguous. This ambiguity is due in large part to the lack of time and attention devoted to spiritual matters compared to other activities."

This concerns me. Apathy, ambiguity, parents more passionate about their kids accomplishments in minor league or on their report card than they are with their spiritual stature and growth. Families find time to be involved in so many things, but how much time is devoted to worship, bible reading, discussion, prayer... true worshipful, intercessory prayer? How many adults even take time to have spiritual heart to hearts with their spouses, never mind parents with their kids? If there is not enough time for this, our priorities are MESSED UP.

3. "Our children are falling away because we are asking the church to do what God designed the family to accomplish. Discipleship and multi-generational faithfulness begins and ends at home. At best, the church is to play a supporting role..."

Okay, I totally agree with this, but there is another element to the equation that I feel got the big skiparoo. It is the job of the Church to exhort, prepare and equip parents to do this. This just is not happening. At least not in the majority of churches that we have been part of. We throw around the terms discipleship and commission, yes. But they make it as far as the glass on the front doors and seem to fall flat. We are not being told *how* to disciple our kids. We are not being exhorted and encouraged and trained. For those of us who are motivated and driven, we find our motivation within ourselves and our help from other sources... sometimes. But what of those who are *not* driven, or who don't even realize that this is something they should be considering? THE CHURCH should be giving us a gentle nudge, a helpful tug on the bootstraps or a hearty kick in the arse...

4. "It is as though Christian parents in America have been lulled to sleep..."

Ahem. I know what you do, that you are not hot or cold. I wish that you were hot or cold! But because you are lukewarm-neither hot, nor cold- I am ready to spit you out of my mouth. You say, I am rich, and I have become wealthy and do not need anything. But you do not know that you are really miserable, pitiful, poor, blind, and naked.... I correct and punish those whom I love, so be eager to do right, and change your hearts and lives. excerpts from Revelation 3:15-19 Nuff said.

5. "Many families have been lulled into what I like to call a full screen view of parenting. We look at the biblical mandate and compare it to societal norms, and there appears to be something missing. We believe that somehow we are depriving our children of experiences that will make them more liked, more respected, more normal. Hence we treade in the biclical standard for a cultural norm that hovers just below mediocrity. All of a sudden our desires for our children change. Now all we want for our kids is what "every other parent" wants for their children."

Oh am I feeling this one. Its a constant battle for us to not want our kids to be in the status quo. To just experience life as every other child experiences it. What are they missing from the social hum of public school, the cameraderie in the playground or hallway. The team spirit of organized sport. The truth... nothing. How can nothing seem like so much something?

6. "Our primary goal for our children is that they walk with the Lord."

Is it? Is it really? Theoretically speaking, yes. Ideally, yes. Personally, I can say YES, it is for us, but I can't help but wonder if it *really* is for the majority of christian parents out there. This is mind boggling to me, you would think there would be no doubt that this would be the number one most important goal for every christian parent, but the way we (as a culture) spend our time and the way we *waste* our time, seems to show our priorities lay elsewhere.

7. "Instead of striving for godliness and multigenerational faithfulness, many Christians have settled for just getting by."

This one hit home. I have spent years and years just struggling to "get by". Life's a tough row to hoe. Sometimes it's exhausting just trying to keep your head above the proverbial waters. Satan is a powerful adversary. He ties us up and weighs us down and it's any wonder we can even stay on the straight and narrow ourselves never mind help usher others along. But we need to get over it. We need to overcome, we need to mature enough to be a light in the darkness, shining the way, rather than the fumbling, bumbling blind leading the blind.

8. "What would you say to a group of believers about to enter a land occupied by pagans? What would you say to the faithful if you knew their faith would be challenged at every turn? What would you say to a group of people upon whom the burden of carrying and representing the covenant message of God rested? Moses knew exactly what to say. He gave them God's word. That word echoes through the halls of history and still resonates today. You and I desperately need the words of Moses' challenge. You and I are living in an age and in a culture that is tearing at the very fabric of the christian community. "

Amen. Ha-le-lu-jah, Ah-ah-men. I dont understand how we can have more time than ever for pursuing leisure pursuits and pleasure reading, and scrapbooking and blogging (preachin' to the choir here) and less time for Him. Not that we need to spend hours in His word per se, I always find that less is more, if I am consciously trying to absorb and implement the one chapter I am meditating on throughout the day, and experience His presence in the simple and sanctified. But even getting in that one chapter... how many days do I let slip by and tell myself "Oh, I'll catch up tomorrow." And yet, I don't play catch up with other things. I mean, I don't miss a meal now do I? Well, why is my spiritual food any less of a priority than my physical?

9. "I'm not trying to say that it is necessarily wrong for children to play organized sports. My point is simply this: Being a member of an organized traveling baseball squad at age ten doesn't add a dingle day to one's life. In fact, many of these activities get in the way of much loftier pursuits. People turned boys into men and girls into women for most of recorded history without dragging them around town with their tongues hanging out in an effort to keep up with their overachieving, undereducated, theologically illiterate peers as they try to win trophies that will eventually gather dust in a basement somewhere."

Again, ha-le-lu-jah ah-ah-men. Sung to the tune of the good ole hymn. I *loved* his response to "well how are your kids going to learn sportsmanship, and teamwork, and competition?" How did George Washington, Thomas Jefferson and Benjamin Franklin learn these things? Preach it brother. One of my biggest peeves of ignorant thought s the assumption that just because people are (disputedly) learning certain character qualities in a given location (ie public school or little league) or set of circumstances does not equate to them not being able to learn them in a DIFFERENT location or set of circumstances (ie. at home with siblings and friends or in more casual sports opportunities).

I can see why this book is controversial. I find it interesting that the church is one of the last "groups" to accept the message that our kids are falling through the cracks. It's widely accepted in secular circles and people are slowing down and claiming back their lives and relationships. (next book on my reading list is the Canadian; Hold on to Your Kids, Why Parents Need to Matter More than Peers. I think it's a message we need to hear, we need to weigh, and we need to attend to. Looking forward to some much needed encouragement and fresh fuel for our parenting fire.